Its a fine line between Love and Hate
by massiveholbyfan125
Summary: Serena hates conferences. Serena hates staying in hotel rooms. Serena hates top-knobs who think they are God. Serena also hates the enigmatic Mr Hanssen - or does she?
1. Chapter 1

**Guys – I know I have already done 2 Hanssen/Serena fanfics, but my friend asked me to do this one, so that's why I've done it. **** Hope you enjoy it – Please review!xxxx **

Serena sighed irritably. Conferences. What was the point in them? She swore they were just excuses for the top-knobs to flirt with women and drink alcohol all evening. She glanced around the table and realised that she had never attended a more boring dinner in her life. She subtly kicked the person on the right, trying to get their attention. Hanssen was talking to the man on his right about some operation the man had once done. He turned in his seat to face Serena when he received her kick. He raised an eyebrow at her quizzically, wondering why she had interrupted his conversation.

"Why the hell did I let you drag me here?" She hissed in his ear. "I wouldn't mind but I can't even go home tonight. This hotel looks like it's been around for 1001 years." The corners of his mouth curled in amusement, but he just turned to the man on his right, listening to how the man had single-handedly saved his patients life. Serena sighed in annoyance. He had dragged her away from her home for the whole weekend and made her sit through this hell. She felt like strangling him when he smirked at her sigh. He pulled his mobile out of his pocket when the man to his right reached for the wine bottle. He scrolled through his contacts, and dialled a number. When the man started to top up Hanssen's glass, he slipped his phone back in his pocket. Serena glanced at him suspiciously. Suddenly her phone started ringing, she checked the caller ID, grateful for the distraction.

Incoming Call – Henrik Hanssen.

She glanced at him suspiciously, before resorting to poking him. He grabbed her hand to stop her poking and looked at her pointedly. Cottoning on, she answered the call.

"Hello... Yes." She was surprisingly good at holding a pretend conversation. "What? Ok, we'll get there as soon as we can." She hung up and turned to Hanssen. "Mr Hanssen, there's an emergency. We need to go." She stood and waited for Hanssen to join her.

"Should we save Mr Spence as well?" Hanssen whispered. Serena glanced over to where Michael was sitting.

"Maybe not," She smiled, noticing he was talking animatedly to a pretty brunette, with that 'I wanna eat you right now' look on his face. She grabbed Hanssen's arm and lead him out of the dining room and into reception.

"Clever idea," She smiled.

"Now what though?"

"I don't know. Sing hallelujah, praise the lord and do the can-can." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh come on. You forced me here." She grabbed his arm again and led him to the main door, down the steps and on to the street. Serena felt Hanssen tense beside her. Realising, she dropped his arm and walked awkwardly beside him, trying not to let their hands brush.

"Where actually are we going?" He asked her. She sighed, all these Mr Sensible questions were getting on her nerves and she told him as much.

"Well, one of us has to be the sensible adult." He retorted. She glared at him and an awkward silence followed. They reached a gate for a park and Hanssen opened it, gesturing for her to go first. She obeyed and started to walk off while he shut the gate behind them.

"Ms Campbell, wait." He called, hurrying after her. She stopped dead, but didn't make any effort to look at him. "I'm sorry," He said. She fixed him with an icy stare.

"What for?" She asked.

"For calling you insensible. Come on, this is clearly going to be a painful and long weekend, so I think we should join forces to make it less painful."

Serena nodded. "Fine, we'll grin and bear it together."

"Sounds like a plan," He smiled. Serena looked at him closely. She had hardly ever seen Hanssen smile, and it wasn't an unpleasant sight to say the least.

"Do you know what comes second in the list of how to survive this weekend from hell?"

"No, surprise me."  
"Wine," She smiled, noticing an off licence just ahead of them. They went through the gates at the other end of the park and entered the shop. Serena selected a bottle and Hanssen paid for it. Just as they made for the door, a group of men walked in.

"Oi," One of them slurred, clearly drunk. He was obviously the leader of this little gang. "Cor, she's a bit of alright." He leered at Serena.

"Excuse us, please," Serena asked them.

"Not unless you giss me a kiss, princess." Hanssen reached for Serena's hand, feeling protective of her. "Please let us through." Hanssen said, in his most commanding voice. The leader was clearly going to argue but Hanssen had drawn up to his highest height, emphasizing how intimidating he was. The man through him one last, dirty look before nudging his mates and skulking off to the back of the shop. Hanssen, who was still holding onto Serena's hand, pulled her out of the shop and back into the park. Serena's mind was focused on Hanssen's hand around hers. His hand was warm and his touch made her feel… strange. She was glad it was quite dark because she felt herself blushing. Hanssen's grip on her was at a slightly awkward angle, so Serena turned hers slightly so it was more comfortable. Hanssen felt his breath catch when she turned her hand in his. He was tempted to drop hers but surely if she wanted that she would have dropped his, not made it more comfortable? He entwined his fingers with hers, thinking about how comfortable he actually felt holding her hand. They stayed in silence until the hotel was in sight.

"Oh, sorry," Hanssen said, dropping her hand and pretending like he hadn't realised they were holding hands.

"We'll have to be careful, try to avoid bumping into anyone." Hanssen nodded and followed Serena, who led him safely all the way to the 3rd floor and outside her room.

"Well, come in," She smiled, opening the door. They both stepped in and Hanssen placed the wine on the coffee table and took his jacket off and sat in the armchair while Serena closed the door behind them, got two glasses from the cupboard and proceeded to pour the wine.

"So, was it the best of ideas to share a room with Michael?" She asked, handing him a glass and sitting in the opposite chair.

"We didn't really have much choice seeing as though all the other people attended this conference had booked up the other rooms. I can't say I'm particularly looking forward to it though. You know how - well you know what Mr Spence is like." She smirked; glad she had her own room. "Cheers," He added, clinking his glass against hers. Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Serena," A familiar American voice drawled on the other side of the door.

"Speak of the devil," She muttered, standing up to open the door. "What, Michael?"

"Do you know where Hanssen is?"

"Here," She gestured behind her. Michael hurried past her and up to the Swede. "Mr Hanssen – wait, what are you doing here?"

"We decided to escape from dinner early." Serena explained for him. "Then we was about to have a steamy, passionate-"

"That's quite enough, Ms Campbell." Hanssen interjected quickly. Michael looked amused for a moment but his own worries seemed to concern him more so he pressed on. "You know that girl I was with, Yvonne? Well, I was wondering if you would-"

"If he would move out of your room for the night so you and your Yvonne can share a steamy, passionate-" Serena guessed.

"Well," Michael interrupted her quickly. "No, we just gonna spend the evening together, talking and stuff."

"Yeah, naked and in your bed. So, what do you say?" They both turned to face Hanssen.

"You're asking me if I will give up my bed so you can spend the night with a stranger? Of course-"

"You can. Have fun Michael." Serena led him to the door. "Don't break her heart too much." She called after him. She closed the door and turned to face Hanssen. He stared at her.

"What?" She asked.

"What?" He repeated. "You've just given my bed to a total stranger and now I have nowhere to-"

"Of course you do. Here." He looked at her for a few moments.

"So now we have to share a room so he can-"

"Oh, shut up Henrik. His ex ran off with Ric, for Christ sake. Let him have some fun."

Hanssen sighed and sat back down in the arm chair.

"And you never know, it might be fun." She smiled. Hanssen looked up from his wine glass and into her sparkling eyes. He felt really flustered and his cheeks started to colour..


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all your reviews, Guys! Keep them coming, please! **** xxxx**

"It's getting late," She mumbled, quickly wrenching her gaze from Hanssen's eyes. She pulled her pyjamas out of her overnight bag and went to the bathroom to change. Hanssen glanced around quickly, thinking. Where would he sleep? Hanssen had just drained his glass when Serena came back out, wearing her pyjamas. Hanssen glanced at her and smirked. Serena looked down, smiling too. She was wearing fleecy, white pyjamas with hearts over them. She knew that they looked ridiculous, but they were comfy and that's all she cared about.

"So, where are you going to sleep then?" Hanssen shrugged, glancing around.

"Here?" He suggested lamely, gesturing to the chair.

"Give over! No one can sleep in an armchair!" She sighed.

"The bath?" Serena burst out laughing at this suggestion; imagine the tall Swede sleeping in the bath.

"The bath?! Not only are you too tall to even attempt it, I would wish it on my worst enemy to sleep in any bath let alone _that_ bath."

"The floor?" Serena thought about this. She didn't want him to sleep on the floor, but she definitely didn't want him to sleep in her bed?! Did she?

"Er…," She said uncertainly. "It's really hard and cold and…"

"And the only place I can sleep tonight. It's fine," He reassured her.

"If you're sure," She said hesitantly. He nodded at her and she chucked him the spare pillows and then went to the wardrobe and pulled out the spare duvet.

"Why do they keep spare duvets in the wardrobe?" She wondered out loud.

"In case of situations like this." Hanssen replied. She glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. She climbed into her bed while he sorted his improvised bed out. Serena turned the TV on and Hanssen finally settled on the floor. She was right, it was hard and cold.

"I'm sorry," Serena suddenly stated. "It's my fault you're on the floor in my room."

"And sleeping in the clothes I've been wearing all day."

"And that," She smiled.

"And not getting the chance to finish my dinner,"

"And that as well. Actually, you did ring me."

"I only chose to do that because of your persistent poking,"

"Jeez, tell it as it is, Henrik!"

"No, none of those things we mentioned are entirely your fault."

Serena flicked absent-mindedly through the channels but all the programmes were rubbish. Sighing, she resolutely turned the TV off, sending them into pitch-black darkness.

"Night Ms Campbell."

"Night, Henrik." She smiled to herself, glad he hadn't ended up in her bed. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to resist. Things would've got very awkward…

"What the hell's that?" Serena exclaimed, waking up suddenly. Hanssen was already up and had turned the lamp on. They both listened to the noise which had awoken them so abruptly.

"It's running water," Serena said, pointing out the obvious. Hanssen looked cool and composed the complete opposite of Serena. Hanssen hurried off to the bathroom which seemed like the most appropriate place to look for running water. Serena followed in quick pursuit. Hanssen flicked the switch and the bright light blinded them for a while. They both noticed the shower was on full blast at the same time.

"How did it turn on?" Serena asked. Hanssen hurried forward to inspect the shower.

"The dial has been turned onto full power." Hanssen glanced back to Serena.

"Don't look at me! In case you have forgotten, I was in my bed up until 30 seconds ago!" Hanssen turned back and slowly turned the dial and the running water ceased.

"Strange," He turned around and swept past Serena, stopping in the doorway. "Are you coming through?" He asked, his finger hovering over the light switch.

"Yeah," She turned away from the shower and headed past him and into the other room. Hanssen flicked the switch and closed the door behind him.

"Is there something wrong, Ms Campbell?" Hanssen asked Serena, who was frozen in the middle of the room.

"What if this room is haunted?" She asked, turning to face him.

"I can assure you this room is definitely not haunted in the slightest." Hanssen smirked at her stupidity. "Are you _scared _Ms Campbell?"

"No," She protested.

"You are," He accused lightly. "I would have never described Serena Campbell as scared."

"How would you describe me then? What do you think of me?"

He pondered on this question, unsure of whether honesty was the best option. "I would describe you as ambitious, a brilliant surgeon and consultant. And a wonderful mother I'm sure." Serena paused for a moment, Hanssen's reply having thrown her. "And how would you describe me?" This question threw her even more.

"You are confusing, enigmatic, you like to appear emotionless, and you build a wall to protect yourself from others. But you're amazing at your job."

"Ruthless honesty," He smiled at her. He was about to lay back into his 'bed' when she grabbed him.

"What is it, Ms Campbell?"

"Why did the shower just turn on by itself?"

"Neither of us can answer that."

"_Exactly," _She refused to the let him lie down. "So, my idea is still reasonable?"

"Your idea about this room being haunted?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," She persisted.

"I suppose it is plausible, yes." He sighed. Did he just admit to believing in ghosts?

"Well, you can't sleep on the floor then. It's a stupid idea to sleep on the floor of a haunted room."

"Is it?" He asked, exasperation taking him over by this point.

"Yes," She took his arm and before he knew it she had forced him into the double bed. He glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "You can look at me like that all you want, but you're _not _sleeping on the floor."

"This room is not haunted, Ms Campbell."

"You just said it was plausible!"

"Yes, but it's not likely!"

"I don't care!" He knew that if he continued to argue, he would be able to win this battle. But for some reason he couldn't force himself to say no.

"Fine," He sighed. He tried to keep as far to the edge as possible, trying to keep some distance.

"Wait," Serena said. "You're not going to sleep in a shirt and tie, are you?"

"I don't think you're going to let me sleep at all tonight."

"Haha," She replied sarcastically. "You're not actually going to are you?" He had contemplated taking his shirt off, which had he been alone he would have done, but he wanted to keep as much professionalism and dignity as he could in this situation. Which wasn't a lot, he reminded himself.

"Grow up, Henrik. We're both adults and that shirt looks ridiculously uncomfortable to sleep in." 'And rather nice on him' she thought. He sighed, she was right, it was uncomfortable. He sat up and slowly lifted his collar and loosened his tie. '_Really _slowly' She thought.

"Henrik, you're going painfully slowly." She climbed on top of the duvet and moved over until she was right next to him, unable to watch him a moment longer. She quickly pulled his tie from around his neck and proceeded to quickly unbutton his shirt. She lightly brushed his skin when she pulled it pulled it down his shoulders to pull it off causing an electric feeling they both felt.

"There," She smiled. "30 seconds not 30 minutes." She quickly climbed out of bed, neatly laid his shirt on the armchair and she climbed back in. Hanssen closed his eyes; his racing heart beat slowly slowing. He could feel Serena looking at him.

"What?" He grumbled, forcing his eyes open.

"It's really weird, seeing Henrik Hanssen in bed. I could never imagine you sleeping, like a normal person."

"Is this suggesting you have tried?"

"No," She said quickly. Then she burst out laughing.

"What is it, Ms Campbell?"

"It's good job we didn't heed your advice and banished you to the bath." She laughed. "Unless of course you like showers in the middle of the night?" Hanssen tried to keep his face straight but he couldn't stop the faint shadow of a smile appearing around his mouth. "I wonder if this room actually is haunted? I don't really like the thought of sharing with a ghost."

"Need I remind you, you are currently sharing a bed with _me. _I would take a ghost over that any day."

"You're not that bad."

"Thank you," He replied dryly.

Hanssen woke the next morning and immediately felt Serena was close to him. He glanced at her, her head was resting on his shoulder and her hand was on his arm. He wondered how they had managed to get into that position during the night. Serena stirred and she moved her arm right across his chest. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

"Morning," She mumbled.

"Morning,"

She rolled away from him and climbed out of the bed. She grabbed her overnight bag and headed to the bathroom.

"Ok, you can use the bathroom first, then." He called after her sarcastically.

"Yep," She called over her shoulder. Hanssen got up and quickly put his shirt on. He straightened the bed covers and sat on the end of the bed, waiting patiently for Serena. She finally emerged, carrying her overnight bag.

"All yours," She smiled. "Actually, don't you think you need to go back to your room? Change your shirt and everything. I'll check its ok for you to go." She pulled her mobile from her pocket and rang Michael.

"Michael? Mr Hanssen's on his way up… What? I don't care if she's still there… He's going to your room whatever… I don't care, get rid of her!... Fine, 5 minutes." She hung up and shot Hanssen an apologetic glance.

"You'll have to wait a few minutes," She informed him. He nodded at her and picked up his tie and proceeded to do it up. She went over to help him, and took over doing it up.

"Thank you," He smiled, when it was done. She absent-mindedly played with his tie, straightening it. Hanssen slowly lifted his hands, placing them over hers. She let her gaze raise from their hands and into his eyes. She became acutely aware of how tall he was now he was so close. She waited for him to lean in, but he was taking his time. He played with her short hair, stroking it. He suddenly leant in, unable to resist a moment longer. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him as close as humanly possible. She forgot he was Henrik Hanssen, the formidable Swede, she forgot he was his boss, all knew was that she never wanted to let this enigmatic man go. Hanssen ran his hands up and down her back, pulling her close. He didn't care that this was Serena Campbell, all he knew was that he never wanted to let this woman he was so attracted to go. His hands finally came to rest on her waist, pulling her closer still….

**Keep the reviews coming guys! Hope you liked it! If you have any ideas – I'd gratefully receive them! Thanks, **** xxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

"Mr Hanssen," Spence greeted the tall man as he entered the hotel room.

"Mr Spence," Hanssen said, nodding his head in acknowledgment at the American. "I hope your night was a pleasant one."

"Yeah, it was, ah… very pleasant, thank you." He smirked. "Where's Serena, we have the first talk together this morning?"

"I'm sure Ms Campbell will join you very soon," Hanssen replied, trying to stop himself blushing at the mention Serena's name. He couldn't help but remember the slight tingling he still felt in his lips.

"Thank you for letting me – for moving out for the night last night." Spence smiled at him. "So, how was your night with _Serena_?" Hanssen now couldn't stop himself from slowly turning red, his cheeks burning up. He quickly grabbed his bag which was still at the end of his bed and hurried into the bathroom.

"That bad, huh?" Spence called after him, misinterpreting his silence.

In the shower, he cupped some of the running water and splashed his face. He could still feel his cheeks were still burning. He wasn't sure why he was reacting the way he was, nothing had happened the night before. He stepped out the shower and hoped Spence had left already. When he was dressed, he re-entered the other room, to find Michael still sitting on his bed. He made swiftly for the door, trying to avoid talking to Michael.

"Whoa, hold up," Michael jumped off his bed and headed after Hanssen. Hanssen purposefully kept a stride ahead of Michael until they reached the lift and he was forced to acknowledge his presence.

"Well, you and Serena looked really cosy in her room last night." Spence grinned when they were both safely in the lift.

"Excuse me?"

"Aw... Come on. You're telling me you didn't notice the way she was looking at you?"  
"I did suspect something was going on when we woke up in bed together this morning." Hanssen stated dryly, staring straight ahead at the lift doors. Spence stared at him, disbelief and amusement mingled in his face as the lift doors opened. "Good day, Mr Spence." With that Hanssen swept out of the lift, leaving Michael staring after him. When the lift started to close, Michael grabbed the doors and stepped out.  
"Hello! How are you on this fine morning Michael?" Michael turned at the mention of his name to face a very happy looking Serena.  
"Jeez, you're in a good mood."  
"Is that illegal?"  
"It is for Serena Campbell. Did anything happen between you and Hanssen last night?" He grinned, getting straight to the point. He was never one to miss out on gossip.  
"Sorry, Michael?"  
"Well, did you like, you know."  
"End up sleeping with him? Sorry to disappoint Michael, but not colleagues end up sleeping together."  
"Are you sure?" He teased.  
"God, your so shallow Michael! Is that all you can think about! Oh, Serena's in a good mood, she must be shagging the Swede!" Michael stared at her with his mouth hanging open.  
"Don't let me interrupt" A smooth voice said from behind Serena. She turned to face Hanssen, who was standing just behind her. Serena looked into Hanssen's face, but as ever Hanssen was hiding his emotions so well she couldn't work out what he was thinking. He gave her a half-glance before elegantly sweeping his way into the room his talk was being held in. She stared after him for a few moments before turning to face Michael. Amusement was etched upon his face but he also looked at her sympathetically.  
"Shagging the Swede?" Michael mouthed at her. "Ouch!" Serena knew he was right, and she found herself glancing wistfully at the spot she had last seen Hanssen before turning and entering the room she needed to be in. Once inside, she turned to face Michael and sent him a look, begging for help. Michael glanced down at the beautiful girl he was going to sit down next to before moving over next to Serena.

"Oh God Michael, what have I done?"

"Hey," He grinned. "It could be worse. You could've mentioned you were just sleeping with him to get a promotion." Serena glared at him. "Oh come on, you just have to accept it probably hurt him. I mean, _shagging the Swede?_ It's make him sound dirty and it make it sound like you were using him."

She groaned, burying her head in her hands. "Oh my God, something did happen didn't it?" She glanced up at him, her eyes begging him not to make her answer that question. "Eew... Henrik Hanssen?! Jeez, there's me thinking this trip was a work occasion."

"No," She sighed. "I didn't sleep with him. I kissed him. But I don't kiss and tell, so breathe a word to anyone and I'll make sure no one will find your body. I'll talk to him and explain, it will be fine, wont it?"

"This is all my fault, isn't it? I made you share a room for the night."

"No, you didn't make us kiss, did you?" Spence smiled wanly at her.

"Serena, you've buried yourself into a hole that will be hard for you to climb out of. Not to mention committing Career suicide."

"What?"

"Well, although Hanssen is very professional, he does show when he hates someone and when he doesn't." Serena sighed, hoping Hanssen wouldn't sabotage her entire career. "I would jump back into his pants as soon as you can." Serena glared at him again, regretting the moment she had told Spence about her love life. She hoped Hanssen would understand and give her the chance to explain…

**Guys – Thank you sooo much for the all your reviews! They're so lovely! As always, keep them coming! I'm not sure whether to keep this chapter up or not, so let me know what you think! Thanks, Kim **** xxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I love receiving them and they make my day! My family keeps having a go at me because I always talk about them! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please leave a review - they mean a lot! **** xxxx**

Serena sat through the second talk of the day on her own. Michael was annoyed that she had left without him so he had sat next to the girl he was originally going to in the first talk. Serena had bolted as soon as the first talk ended as she wanted to try and speak to Hanssen before the beginning of the next talk. However, he was already there and was sat between a man and a woman who seemed to have his attention. She didn't go and talk to him for fear of receiving the, "I'm really rather busy, Ms Campbell." She had slumped into a seat at the back and half-consciously sat through the never-ending talk, trying desperately to stay awake. She missed the cue to signify the end of the talk, and was thrown slightly when everyone stood up until she realised it must have finished. Her eyes quickly darted around the room, looking for a tall figure. She spotted him at the front of the room, in deep conversation with the middle-aged man who had presented the talk. She hung around, watching Hanssen's conversation. Michael passed her with a glare, but she just sent him an apologetic glance and vowed to apologise later. She stood up taller when Hanssen nodded in acknowledgement to the end of the conversation at the man.

"Mr Hanssen," She said, hurrying forward.

"Ah, Ms Campbell. Can I help you?"

"Yes, I need to talk to you." She glanced at him and he looked slightly uncomfortable, clearly wanting to run a mile. He nodded at her to continue.

"I believe I said something that you may have overheard that was untrue and very stupid."

"And what would that be, Ms Campbell?" Serena raised an eyebrow at him, wondering why he was playing dumb.

"I believe I said, 'She must be shagging the Swede'." Hanssen looked slightly taken-aback, clearly not expecting her to be so open.

"Ah, yes. I do believe I remember over hearing that." Serena looked at him for a few moments, expecting him to elaborate.

However, when he remained silent, she added, "I _was _referring to _you_, you know."

"Yes, I gathered that thank you, Ms Campbell." Serena looked up at him, wanting him to show some emotion.

"And are you not upset or hurt? Do you not feel anything? I think – I know – I made it sound like a meaningless thing, like I was using you. And I know that's how it came across to you."

"And why would I feel upset or hurt? I was meaning to apologise for my actions this morning, however the right moment had not presented itself until now. So my deepest apologises, Ms Campbell. I hope no wires were crossed or any mis-feelings were created."

Serena couldn't do anything but stare in disbelief. "So that's it. We are just going to pretend nothing happened? There was something there, Henrik. Do you regret it?"

He looked at her carefully before replying. "I know there was. No, Ms Campbell, I do not regret the events that happened this morning." With that he swept past her, leaving her staring at the spot he had just occupied. She wanted to strangle him for making her so confused, for making her feel the way she did. She also wanted to follow him, beg him to explain more about what he meant_; I do not regret the events that happened this morning_. She decided against either of those, and checked her watch. _11.38. _Not too early for alcohol she thought and headed to her room to finish that bottle of wine they got last night.

She turned face-down on her bed, trying to blot everything out. Was he annoyed about the comment? He had said _I do not regret the events that happened this morning. _She glared at her pillow, wanting to punch it over and over to vent her frustrations but she decided to snuggle into it instead. She found herself dozing off when she heard a sharp rapping at the door. Sighing, she slowly sat up, trying to wake up from her tiredness. She stood up and opened the door and she almost slammed it shut again when she saw an awkward looking Hanssen standing there.

"Can I come in, please?"

"Do you have to?" She wasn't quite sure why she was being so sharp, surely he should be angry at her, not vice-versa. But he was giving her the run around too much – practically enemies, then a kiss, then apologies and "let's forget about it" then _I do not regret the events that happened this morning, _(She could swear those flipping words haunted her) then he is at her room again. She had more than enough justified reason to be resentful towards him.

"I was hoping to yes." She sighed and stepped back so he could enter. He didn't take his jacket off like she had expected, he just stood in the middle of the room facing her.

"I think I should apologise, Ms Campbell." _Ughh, apologies again! She thought. _"I have gone about this in a completely unsavoury way-"

She cut through his stumbling apology, her words concise and sharp like sharp knives. "You were so passionate this morning, so fiery, so attractive. And then you realised you let someone too close, so you clammed up, shutting me out altogether. You rebuilt that façade of hostility. And I know my comment didn't help, but I didn't mean it to say I didn't care about our kiss and deep down you knew it. But it was your safety net, wasn't it? You could hold that against me, it gave you a reason to needlessly protect yourself from the rejection you thought you was going to inevitably receive, without even knowing how I felt. And it's not just from other people is it, Henrik? You protect and shelter yourself from yourself as well." she glared that trade mark glare at him, wanting more than anything to have stirred an emotion in him. His silence infuriated her and a sudden rage took her over, and she suddenly flew at Hanssen, landing hit after hit onto his chest, she wanted him to say, do, feel _something._ He remained unresponsive for a few moments before grabbing her wrists to prevent her hurting him anymore. He managed to restrain her quite easily, with him being so strong.

"Why can't you be human, Henrik? Why can't you trust like any other person? Why can't you love?" She spat and wrenched her hands free and resumed to attack Hanssen. Hanssen could barely control her this time, her anger and hurt having returned with vengeance. He had to resort to forcing her backwards a few paces, pinning her arms tight to the wall to stop her literally beating him within an inch of his life.

"Listen to me, Serena. Stop." He pleaded in a soft voice which had a hint authority in it, using all his strength to hold her back. When she realised that he would continually refuse to lessen his grip, she relaxed and ceased her relentless attempts at killing him with her bare hands, knowing they were in vain.  
"You're a cold, mean, heartless, obnoxious" She hissed resorting to insults, knowing in a verbal battle, she was more likely to be victorious. "Aloof, stuck up, presumptuous, brash, unloving, monstrous," The hurt in his eyes told her she had done her job and proven her point, but she couldn't stop the insults rolling off her tongue now she had started, it was a chance she couldn't resist to vex all her anger to the exact person who had created her problems. "Two faced, selfish, big headed, insensitive, manipulative-" She was cut off when he leant in and kissed her. All her anger at him melted for a few moments. He kissed her like he had that morning, the same passion, fire and attraction returning. Hanssen was the first to break the kiss, pulling back and looking deep into her eyes, trying to find a reaction.  
"I'm sorry," He whispered, turning to go.  
"Oh, No you don't," She hissed after him. He stopped deathly still and slowly turned to face her. She was torn between two choices. She could either berate him more, or kiss him back, like she so wanted to. Ignoring every sensible pore running through her body, she drew tantalisingly close, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. She bore into his eyes; they were burning with passion and had a hint of... vulnerability. He playfully stroked her hair, making her wait a while like he had that morning. He gently moved his hands from her hair to the sides of her head, tilting it back slightly. He leaned close to her, his mouth lingering for a few seconds before he kissed her again. His hands ran down to her waist and his arms wrapped right around her and he pulled her tight, refusing to let her go even for a second.

**Jeez Henrik – make your mind up! Thanks for reading this and please please please review! Kim xxxx **


	5. Chapter 5

**Guys, OMG your reviews! They are soooo amazing! Keep them coming please! Just to say I don't own Holby or anything etc… I'm just gonna use the characters for a while then put 'em back when I'm all done (Well, maybe not our Mr Hanssen, I wouldn't mind keeping him… ;)xx) **

**I hope you like it, please let me know! **** xxxx**

"No, I can't" He sighed, pulling back. "I really am sorry, I shouldn't be here." Before Serena knew what was happening Hanssen had turned sharply on his heel and swept out of the room.

"Henrik, wait!" she shouted but to no avail. She slumped onto the bed, wondering what the bloody hell was going on. He was sending her into an emotional wreck, kissing her then walking out on her? She felt the anger building up inside her and she found herself going from loving him to hating him in the space of 30 seconds. She threw her head into her hands and tried to get her head around it, was it something she had said or done? She reached for the almost empty wine bottle, an attempt to forget about the enigmatic Swede and his unable way to make a decision. If he couldn't care for her then she wouldn't care for him. Having a sudden thought, she left the bottle on the side and reached for her mobile. What was the point in drowning her sorrows alone when she could with a sexy and caring if not slightly sleazy American?  
"Michael?" she said sadly into her phone. "Have I told you how sorry I am and what a great friend you are?"

Serena woke slowly the next morning, and she immediately felt her head was banging and a nauseous feeling spread through her. She groaned and turned over to face a sleeping Michael. She sat up quickly, suddenly feeling very awake.  
"Michael," she said, hitting him. "Michael, get up!" all this was in vain as he was in a very deep sleep. "Spence," she shouted, thumping him. Michael started to stir and he rolled over to face Serena. "Ow!" He moaned. "Good morning to you too,"

"Well sorry I forgot the stupid how are you on this fine morning crap but I was just wondering what the bloody hell you're doing in my bed."  
"We went out for a drink or 20."  
Serena groaned and rubbed her head. "And what happened?" She asked the inevitable question that was running around her head.  
"Ah, you mean did we sleep together? Well sorry to disappoint but 'not all colleagues sleep together'." he grinned, mimicking her voice.  
"Good," She sighed, slumping back in her pillows.  
"However, in your drunken state, you did happen to mention Hanssen."  
"What did I say?"  
"Everything." he grinned. "Especially the bit just before you rang me." Serena turned face down on the bed and buried her head in her pillow.  
"I must say, what he did, that sucks man." She noticed he did sound generally caring and concerned. He reached out and pulled her into a cuddle. She tried to resist but he was persistent so she let him smother her in hugs.  
"So we definitely didn't do anything last night?"  
"Nope, doesn't it look like it?" He asked, indicating the clothes he was wearing. He checked his watch. "Although it's still early so if you want-" Serena playfully slapped him.  
"I think I'll pass, thank you."  
"Saving yourself for someone?" She glared at him, daring him to say anything more. "Trust me; he'll be getting an earful today." Serena looked at him with a raised eyebrow.  
"And whys that?"  
"Anyone who hurts my baby Rena has to deal with me." Serena playfully punched his arm again but secretly she was grateful for the American's support. "Uncle Spence is here to protect you from the bad things in this big, wide world."

"And Uncle Spence needs to get out of my bed right now." She grinned. She laughed when she saw him wince slightly and rub his head when he moved.

"It's going to be a rough day," She reached in her bag and pulled out the emergency pack of Aspirin she always carried with her.

"It's worth it though; some of your dances moves were _phenomenal." _Spence smiled, gratefully receiving the pills she offered him.

"Thank you," She replied dryly. She sighed slightly, remembering why she rang Michael in the first place. _Was _it something she had done or said? "Now, go back to your own room. If Hanssen asks, you were spending the night with me. Oh and tell him he's a bast-"

"Whoa!" Spence interrupted. "He is my boss remember. I wanna support you, but getting my ass kicked by my boss won't help you, will it?" She tried to smile but instead found tears rolling down her cheeks. "Hey! Come here," Spence pulled her into a tight cuddle and rocked her in a comforting way. "I will tell him if it makes you feel better." She smiled, wiped her tears and climbed out of the bed.

"No," She smiled. "He'd probably sack you by the time you got to the second syllable." She walked around to Spence's side and pulled him out of bed too. "Maybe tonight I might get this bed to myself." She groaned realising what she had just said.

"So Hanssen wasn't lying, he was in your bed that night."

"I expect he forgot to mention we were fully clothed? And if you kept it in your trousers he wouldn't have even been in my room." Spence nodded knowing he couldn't bring that up again. "We thought this room was haunted so I wouldn't let him sleep on the floor." She added, by a means of explanation. She glared at Michael's amused face and pushed him to the door.

"You need a shower." She chucked him out of the room and shut the door tight behind him. She tried to ignore the horrible feeling she got when she thought about the way Hanssen had walked out through that door. Slumping down on the bed, she just wanted her head to stop hurting and her mind to stop drifting onto Hanssen. Deciding that sitting around feeling sorry for herself, she dragged herself up from the bed and left to get a coffee after having a shower.

She hesitated for a few moments before knocking loudly on the door. She felt her heart skip when the door was pulled open and Hanssen was standing there. She looked into his eyes for a few moments before managing to wrench her gaze away from him.

"Don't panic," She smirked when she saw how taken-aback he looked to see her standing there. "I've come for Michael; you're not the only person here." Hanssen nodded and stepped back to let her in. She pushed past him, placed the coffee she had kindly decided to get Michael on the side and hearing the shower running, opened the bathroom door.

"Hey!" Michael protested. "I'm butt naked and in the shower!"

"And I'm fully dressed and standing in the doorway to the bathroom. What are we playing, where are we and what are we wearing? I've just come to drop off a coffee, should help you get over last night." She stepped back out the bathroom and closed the door tightly. Keeping her gaze locked on the floor, she walked back past Hanssen and left the hotel room swiftly.

Spence paused slightly just outside the door of his room before pushing it open. He saw Hanssen was sitting on the edge of his bed, dressed in one of his usual suits and his laptop balanced on his knees. Although he was intent on his emails, he glanced up when the door opened.  
"Ah, Mr Spence, it's nice to finally see you. It seems you disappeared off of the face of the Earth for the night."  
"Yeah, I had a wild night with Serena. Sorry I didn't realise I had to get permission from you first." Spence smirked when he saw Hanssen's fingers freeze above the keyboard when he heard Serena's name.

"Not at all, Mr Spence. I have no interest in when you chose to have your wild nights." Hanssen said in a pointed tone to indicate the conversation was over. Spence slung his bag over his shoulder, headed to the bathroom and jumped into the shower. Hanssen sighed slightly when he heard the shower turn on. How could Michael be so easy-going and charming? Even his smooth American charm had got Serena to go for a drink with him. He couldn't understand why he had walked. Serena made it evident enough that she returned his feelings, so why was he so intent in hurting her? He felt his chest tighten and stomach squeeze when he thought of how Serena must have felt when one second he was dragging her to the bed and next he had left her. Coward, he hissed to himself. All the hurt from the past had come flooding back to him in that moment, all the pain he had suffered. He jolted out of his trance when he heard a knocking at the door, causing him to almost drop his laptop  
to the floor. However saving his laptop just in time from any harm and placing it safely on the bed he Stood up and opened the door. He gave an involuntary look of surprise when he saw Serena standing there, two coffees in her hand.  
"Don't panic," she smirked. "I've come for Michael; you're not the only person here." Hanssen looked at her for a moment, wanting to say something, but instead he stepped back and let her in with a nod. He has to resist the urge to laugh when he heard Michael's protests at Serena's arrival.  
"-Should help you get over last night." he overheard her say as she backed out of the bathroom. He felt his heart sink. 'It's your fault' he reminded himself. He was determined to say something to her but she kept her gaze on the ground and was out of the room before he could draw a breath.

Serena headed straight down to reception, not wanting to go back to her hotel room.  
"Thanks for the coffee," She heard a familiar drawl behind her. She turned to face Michael.  
"Did he ask where you were?"  
"Yep, I said I was with you." Serena smiled at the thought. His arm snaked around her shoulder to show he was there for her. She wasn't sure how or when this friendship had started, but she was glad it did. "And he didn't look too happy about it."

Somehow, they had managed to get through the first talk successfully without falling asleep. Each talk really did get worse. Just as she thought the second talk was over, she heard a smooth voice addressing the audience. She looked up sharply to see Hanssen presenting the final part of the talk. She glanced down at the breakdown sheet she had in her hands and scanned through it. Hanssen's name was last and had she bothered to read it she would have noticed. She sighed, although she hated Hanssen she would have wished him luck has she known. She found herself watching him closely, taking in all his little gestures and movements. At the end, she hung back to apologise for not wishing him luck but when she scanned the room she couldn't see his tall figure, he had already left.

She automatically walked out of the hotel and down to the steps, wanting some time to think. It was cold but she liked the bitterness of the cold sinking into her. She walked along the street and before long found herself in the park she had come across with Hanssen. She took another path than she had on that first night and found herself by a pond. The water was glistening peacefully and relaxed her. Turning to see a bench, she decided she had time to sit for a few minutes. As she drew closer, she saw someone was already occupying the bench. She immediately recognised the tall figure and dark hair and she froze, unsure of whether to approach or not. She crept up slowly, not prepared to fully announce her presence. His head was bent and Serena could hear he was mumbling something. She smiled to herself when she saw he was talking to a squirrel he was enticing with food who had climbed up onto the bench. She couldn't recognise what he was saying, it sounded foreign.

"Are you talking to a squirrel in Swedish?" She asked. Hanssen jumped, causing the squirrel to scarper. He turned to face her and nodded his head. He didn't invite her to sit down, so she took it upon herself to sit next to him.

"Why?" She asked.

"I tend to find animals are rather good listeners. They never answer back and they except you for you." Serena felt taken aback by this sudden show of feeling.

"You're talk was good," She said, unsure of how to reply.

"Thank you," He replied.

"I'm sorry I didn't wish you luck, I didn't read the breakdown sheet so I wasn't aware you were talking."

"Why are you here?" He asked suddenly.

"I could ask you the same."

He gestured to the lake. "It's relaxing. I find I can think here." She nodded. "Did you know that squirrels have their sweat glands on their feet?" Serena looked up in surprise and shook her head.

"And swans," He gestured to the lake again. "Mate for life. If a mate is lost, then the surviving swan goes through a grieving process just like humans." Serena had to resist the urge to laugh at the picture of a swan dressed in black and attending a funeral service.

"Interesting," She smiled.

He glanced down at her, "Nature if full of little surprises and wonders." She smiled and shivered slightly, regretting the choice to leave her jacket behind. He wordlessly pulled his jacket off and draped it across her shoulders. Smiling her thanks, she wondered whether he had done this for her or out of his gentlemanly characteristics. He slowly stood up, clearly reluctant to leave his peacefulness.

"Shall we?" He asked, offering his arm to her. She took it and they walked back in silence, both in deep thought. Serena was jolted out of her little bubble when Hanssen pulled his jacket from around her shoulders. They were standing just outside the hotel and they silently made their way to the lift.

"I truly am sorry." He said when they were both in the lift.

"What for? For actually kissing me or for walking?" He sighed, and for the first time she saw a crack in his professional façade. He didn't answer and when the lift arrived on her level she wordlessly stepped out.

"For walking," She heard a voice say. She turned to face him but the lift doors had already closed, blocking him from sight.

**Thanks for reading, please leave a review of what you think!xxx ;) **


	6. Chapter 6

Serena walked back to her room in a daze. Had he just said what she thought he had? She collapsed on her bed even though it was only the afternoon, feeling emotionally drained after the last few days.  
She was woken abruptly when she heard a sharp rapping at the door. It took a while for her banging head to recognise the noise. When she did, she slowly pulled herself out of bed and pulled open the door.  
"You look bad," Michael grinned.  
"Thanks," She glared. "What do you want?"  
"Charming. I just came to let you know that it's half six and you weren't at dinner so I was just checking your OK."  
"Half six?" She groaned, jumping up. "Ughh, Michael, I'm not coming down, I don't feel too good."

"Aww, Rena, I take it this means our drink tonight's out of the question?"  
She glared at him, her mood growing worse and worse. "I'll come check on you later, then."  
"I'm not a baby and I don't need a babysitter."  
"Good job I'm not a babysitter then, isn't it?" he pushed his luck by darting forward, pulling her into an embrace and planting a quick kiss on her forehead before running off to make sure she didn't kill him. Serena found herself smiling although she wanted to chase after him and throttle him. Although he was cocky and arrogant, she loved him like a brother, an annoying big brother that she wanted to murder day in day out but couldn't ever bring herself to do so. She shut the door before climbing back on her bed and falling into the deepest sleep she'd had for a long time.

She woke groggily the next morning, her head having ceased its throbbing. Checking the time, she got up and started to get ready knowing they had to leave early to get back in time for their shifts at Holby. She had just done the zip up on the small case she had bought when she heard a knock at the door. With the usual "come in, it's not locked" she turned to face Hanssen. She was taken aback when she saw him, having not seen him since his statement in the lift.  
"Are you ok?" She smiled.  
"I'm very well, thank you. Yourself?"  
"Better." she smiled. And after a few awkward moments of silence added, "Can I help you, Mr Hanssen?"  
"I just came to check you was up and ready because Mr Spence mentioned that he came to check on you last night and there was no answer the second time so I came to check you hadn't slept in this morning as you wasn't feeling too good yesterday." she loved the way he was dithering in the doorway. "Which you haven't," he added as an afterthought.  
"Clearly," she pulled her bag off the bed and did a last scan to check she hadn't left anything behind.  
"Shall we go and put your bag in the car?" she nodded and Hanssen took the bag from her, ever the gentleman. When the bag was safely in the boot of his car, she suggested they wait in the car for Michael.

"I believe Mr Spence will be a while yet. When I left, his Yvonne had turned just turned up, crying and begging for his number." Serena laughed at the thought of Michael dealing with that.  
"In that case, we have time to say goodbye to your Swedish squirrel." she smiled.

"Ah, I never mentioned he was a fellow Swede, Ms Campbell," He said straight faced but his eyes were sparkling as he offered his arm to her.  
"Why were you talking to him in Swedish then?" She asked, taking his arm.  
"Because it was evident he didn't understand English." He smiled at her. "Shall we?"  
They strolled to the park and around the lake in silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable, awkward silence but peaceful as they were both deep in their own thoughts.  
"Listen to that grasshopper," She said suddenly, stopping to listen to the distant sound.  
Hanssen listened closely before saying, "That's not a grasshopper, it a cricket."  
Serena looked at him in surprise. "How do you know?" he smiled at her but didn't answer.  
"Crickets have their ears in their legs." He said knowledgeably. "And grasshoppers have theirs in the side of their stomachs." He then went into interesting facts about all kinds of wildlife creatures. Serena was trying to concentrate but she was more interested in watching him, all his little gestures and the way his eyes lit up when he talked about what he was passionate about.  
When he finally paused she asked, "Do you have any pets?"  
She was surprised when he said no. Pressing, she asked whether he had had any in Sweden. She realised he had clammed up when he didn't answer, he was never one for personal conversations. The silence was a lot more awkward and tensed than before. She sighed, not wanting him to shut her out again.  
"Sorry," She sighed. Not giving him the chance to feign innocence and ask what she was apologising for, she stopped dead and hugged him tight, her head resting on his chest. She loved hearing and feeling his heartbeat through the thin shirt. At first she felt him tense, as if he wanted to run a mile, but she held him tight and he soon hugged her back, his arms wrapped around her shoulders.  
"We all have dark shadows in our past." she informed his chest, guessing that's why he clammed up at the mention of Sweden.  
"I guess some are darker than others," He sighed. This made her more curious than ever but she didn't want him to shut her off altogether so she didn't pursue it. She pulled herself away stepped back when she heard phone ringing. Answering it she recognised the familiar drawl straight away. She smiled up at Hanssen when she hung up and said, "Michaels at the car."  
When they arrived at the car, Michael was leaning against it in a way the thought was cool.  
"Where have you been?" He asked suspiciously.  
"Nowhere of interest to you," She said sweetly. With one last suspicious glance he turned and jumped in the front seat while Serena got in the back seat. When Hanssen reversed out of his space, Serena quizzed Michael about the situation with Yvonne. When he explained he gave Yvonne his number to stop her crying so he could leave Serena snorted and mumbled something along the lines of "She must be desperate". Michael replied with "you can talk about sticky relationships" with a quick glance at Hanssen. Serena glared at him and was quickly loosing that feeling that she loved him like a brother.  
"This conference was a waste of flipping time," Michael grumbled, his eyes closed and his head leaning back. "I learnt absolutely nothing."  
"Oh I don't know," Serena smiled sweetly. "Did you know crickets have their ears in their legs?" Michael shot her a quizzical glance while Hanssen let a faint shadow of a smile flash across his face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Aww – your reviews are amazing, thank you soooo much! Please leave a review!xx Oh, and by the way I don't own Holby or characters etc… I still gotta give 'em back when I'm finished. Still deciding on whether to keep our sexy Hanssen… ;) xx**

"Pull over," Spence begged. "Please!"  
"Mr Spence, we are almost in Holby, please-"  
"I need to pee now!" Spence moaned. Sighing in annoyance, Hanssen pulled into the next service station they came across. Serena sat in silence, enjoying watching the two men sitting in front of her arguing. Spence jumped out as soon as the car stopped and practically ran into the service station's toilets. Finding just her and Hanssen in the car, Serena suddenly felt really awkward and stayed silent. She wasn't quite sure what was going to happen between them. Either they'd be in bed together by the end of the week or she'd know absolutely everything there was to know about the wildlife, seeing as though whenever they are together they end up kissing or going on walks and him tell her about nature. Serena rather hoped it would be the former as there were only so many facts so could take in on crickets. Blushing slightly at this thought, Serena glanced at  
him quickly to make sure he couldn't see what she was thinking.  
"So, what's first on the list when we get back?" She asked, trying to avert her thoughts.  
"We have a board meeting on our immediate return," He replied. Serena groaned, she was sure a board meeting as soon as she got back would put her to sleep straight away.  
"Problem?" He asked, glancing at her with a raised eyebrow through his rear view mirror.  
"Not at all," She smiled. Glancing absent mindedly out the window, she caught sight of Michael who was clearly chatting up the girl behind the till.  
"I need a pee indeed." She grinned. Hanssen followed her gaze and sighed.  
"It seems our Mr Spence is a smooth operator." He commented.  
Serena pulled her gaze back round to Hanssen trying to figure out what he was thinking.  
"He thinks he's smooth." She smiled. "However, I do believe with most women it's just an initial attraction to his accent."  
Hanssen visibly tensed at this, obviously regretting starting a conversation like that. However, the awkward silence only lasted a few moments as Spence suddenly appeared from nowhere and jumped back in with a huge grin.  
"Jeez, you are a fast mover aren't you?" Serena said. "Don't say you've already had her behind the toilets?"  
"Ah, your just jealous my darling Rena," Serena glared at the use of her nickname. "Turns out she thinks my accents cute, so she gave me her number." Serena rose an "I said so," eyebrow at Hanssen before he reversed out of the space and carried on the route to Holby.

Pulling into the car park, they all got out of Hanssen's Volvo parked in his specially reserved CEO space before heading their separate ways. Serena went straight to her office, dumped her bag by her office, and said a quick hello to Ric before heading straight down to reception to grab a much needed coffee. She headed slowly to the boardroom, dreading this meeting. She thought of the mountain of paperwork waiting for her on her desk. That was one of the disadvantages of this new position Cunningham seemed to have plucked from mid-air, Hanssen felt it his duty to unload 90% of his paperwork onto her, resulting in her not properly seeing her daughter for days. Pushing open the door, she saw everyone but Hanssen was already there. Slumping down next to Michael, she listened to see what he and Jac were talking about.  
"What do you think, Serena?"  
"About what?" She asked.  
"We were just discussing who in this hospital would be best in bed."  
"I don't know,"  
"For males, Jac's bets on Hanssen, after me obviously."  
"Really?" She answered neutrally, trying not to let Michaels teasing catch her out.  
"I think he'd be pretty good," Jac chipped in. Everyone turned to face her in surprise.  
"You don't think he'd be nervous and shy?" Ric asked.  
"Nope, I think he'd be rather satisfying." Michael momentarily forgot he was trying to get Serena too speak and turned his undivided attention to Jac.  
"What?"  
"Well, I think the wall he builds is just a cover." Serena wasn't sure whether Jac was being sarcastic or truthful. If she was being sarcastic, she was a brilliant actress.  
"Oh, yes." Serena replied, purposefully showing her sarcasm. "I'm sure he wouldn't disappoint." She glanced around at her colleagues. Michael had a knowing smirk on his face, Elliot and Ric just looked amused but only remotely interested in the conversation and Jac just looked like Jac, neutral but  
she was looking at Serena with a hint of surprise.  
"Are you saying you want to get him under your sheets? Or have you already?" Michael asked, wanting her to slip up and admit to everyone she had something with Hanssen.  
"Well, you know I wouldn't be able to resist a tall Swedish guy. And he's the biggest enigma known to man. Totally irresistible."  
"I hope I'm not interrupting," A familiar voice said from the door. Everyone turned to see the tall, slim figure of the CEO and DOS sweep into the room and take his seat. Everyone fell silent, giving each other awkward and amused glances.  
"Not at all," Serena smiled sweetly. "Jac was just saying how she thought you would be great in bed." Jac turned to her and gave her an icy stare. Everyone else looked at her with distaste as well. No matter how much you didn't like someone it wasn't the done thing to snitch on fellow consultants.  
"And then Serena mentioned she wanted to jump in your bed." Michael grinned, jumping straight to Jac's defence or more to the point jumping straight at the chance to snitch on Serena. This time it was Serena's turn to face Michael and send him her trade mark glare.  
"Shall we proceed with the meeting, I'm sure you have lives to save and operations to complete." The meeting commenced and Serena tried to ignore Jac, Michael and Hanssen's glances. If she was asked a question, she answered politely enough but with a hint of reservedness so they got the hint  
to leave her alone. At the end of the meeting, Serena made a bolt to the door, not wanting to be caught by Michael.  
"Ms Campbell, Ms Naylor. A word please if you would be so kind." Serena stopped in her tracks and she along with Jac and Hanssen waited for the room to clear. When Michael finally dawdled to the door and closed it behind him Hanssen started.  
"I hope no other conversations like that will occur. I trust we can all maintain a certain level of professionalism." Serena nodded stiffly while Jac narrowed her eyes. She never did like her professionalism or skill to be questioned. Serena was going to kill Michael, whether she loved him like a brother or not.  
"Yeah, I'm sorry, Mr Hanssen." Jac finally managed. She turned on her heel and left. On her way past, she heard Jac mutter, "If I want to know I'll just give Sahira a ring." Serena glanced back quickly at Hanssen, but his face was emotionless so she couldn't tell whether he had heard or not. She wondered for a split second who Sahira was (and how she would know what Hanssen was like in bed) but she decided to interrogate somebody else later. Serena, too, turned to go. With one last glance at Hanssen she wrenched the door open. His eyes were doing that sexy sparkling thing again.

"Right, come on then, prep him now." Serena ordered. A quick change into her scrubs and she was just outside the theatre room, tying her scrub cap tight. She turned the tap on and a powerful jet of water spurted out.  
"Should be an interesting one," She smiled to Ric who was standing next to her whilst sticking her hands under the tap and starting to scrub.  
"Oh yes," Ric smiled back. Serena shook her hands and grabbing a paper towel, proceeded to dry them. Chucking the paper towel in the bin, she put on the gloves offered by the scrub nurse.  
"See you on the ice," She grinned to Ric, pushing open the theatre door with her shoulder.

"Suction," Serena demanded a few minutes later. "Nope, I can't find the damn bleed."  
"Serena, he's bp is dropping."  
"Ok, keep pushing fluids and more suction,"  
"Are you sure you can do this, we can always page Michael. This is his area of expertise."  
"Oh no," She half smiled half grimaced. "That stuck up American is not getting his hands on my patient. And I found the bleed, the little bugger." Ric asked for the appropriate instruments from the scrub nurse and they proceeded to stem the bleed.  
"Ms Campbell," A voice called. "Mr Hanssen wants to know if you're free?"  
"Yes," She called sarcastically. "Tell him I've just put the kettle on if he wants to pop in for a cuppa." Ric chuckled at this before he decided to give the messenger an appropriate message. "Ms Campbell is really busy in theatre at the moment but she will happily go and find him after she's all done."

Serena pulled the scrub cap off of her head as she walked out of theatre. The operation had gone really well which put her in a better mood. As she changed out of her scrubs she heard her pager go off. Pulling it out of her pocket, she realised it was Hanssen. Remembering the message she got in theatre, she headed out of the changing room and up to Hanssen's office. She knocked loudly on the door and he had only just managed to get the "come in" out before she walked in. When she entered, she immediately realised he was not behind his desk but standing by his window.  
"Ah, Ms Campbell," He greeted, barely glancing at her.  
"Mr Hanssen, you want me?" Serena quickly tried to stop her thoughts drifting to the place they were as she realised what she said.  
"Yes, I have a meeting scheduled for tomorrow and as you are the CED you will also be attending, if that's not a problem."  
"No, that's fine," She replied, turning to go.  
"Oh, and one last thing, Ms Campbell," she turned back to face him. "Have a good day," He said. Taken-aback she nodded at him before turning and leaving swiftly.

Back on the ward, she headed straight to the nurses' station. After answering Chantelle's persistent questions about how the conference went, she finally managed to get her to hand over some notes so she could start her ward rounds.

"Here you go Ms Campbell," Chantelle said in her sing-song voice, handing the folders over with a flourish.  
"Welcome back, Ms Campbell. The Malick and Channers had Keller all under control." A smooth voice said. Serena looked over Chantelle's shoulder to see Malcik.

"Good to hear, if you'll excuse me," She went off to the patient in Bed 2.

"Hello," She smiled, rubbing in the hand gel she'd just squirted. "I'm Ms Campbell and your consultant."

"How long until I can get out of here?" The girl in the bed moaned.

"Well, we'll have to make you better first won't we?" She replied in a slightly patronising way to make sure the girl didn't start moaning. After a quick inspection, she turned to Digby who was beside her and ordered some tests.

"OK, FBC'S, U's and E's, LFT and an ECG," She stood by the end of the bed and watched as he tried unsuccessfully to take blood. After a while Chantelle appeared beside her.

"Why don't I try, Mr Digby?" Chantelle asked softly when the patient started to complain. Digby sighed and stepped back, allowing Chantelle access to the patient. In the first attempt, she had managed to successfully draw blood.

"A brilliant job, Nurse Lane," A soft voice said. They all turned to face Hanssen and a stupid grin crossed Chantelle's face.

"Oh, thank you Mr Hanssen! I could kiss you!" She grinned, running forward and trapping him in a tight hug.

"Sorry," She smiled sheepishly up at him, stepping back.

"Not at all," He said, letting a faint smile flicker across his face before turning and striding away. He always did have a soft spot for Chantelle.

"Aw, he's really sweet isn't he?" Serena looked at Chantelle as if she'd just come barging in brandishing a gun and threatening to blow everyone's brains out. Someone describing Hanssen as sweet was like Elliot Hope going on a diet. It just never happened and it looks weird when it does.

"Er..." She replied. "If you say so." She made sure a note was sent out saying she was off the ward so she could complete the paperwork awaiting her before hurrying to her office.

She sat at her desk and buried her head in her hands, her head was starting to throb. Hanssen's comment was playing around her head _have a good day. _He really was one of the most unpredictable and confusing men she'd ever known. She managed to drag her head off of her desk when she heard the door open.

"Michael," She groaned. "I sent a note out, any patient problems go to Ric."

"Well, lucky for you he's been called to an emergency operation so I've come up here to cover for a few hours but I need you to check a patient for me."

"Later," She moaned.

"Fine, whenever, my baby Rena." She stood up and slowly made her way towards him. Dangerously slowly. "Call me that again and I'll complete the fastest sex change known to man," She hissed into his ear. "Then you'll just have to let service-station girl down, won't you?"

"Ohh," He grinned. "Consider me warned. When you're ready." He smiled before backing out. Serena followed him out a few minutes later but not to see a patient.

Stopping just outside his office, she knocked loudly. With the usual 'come in' she entered and Hanssen clearly looked surprised to see her.

"What the hell does 'have a good day' mean?" She exploded. "Have a good day?" She repeated. "Look, we really need to talk." He sighed and stood up. He walked around the other side of his desk and stared at the floor for a few moments. She sighed when she realised he wasn't going to answer and turned to leave. A hand on her shoulder stopped her and she turned back around. Before she'd even had the chance to look into his dark eyes he had lent in and kissed her softly. It was so soft, she could barely feel his lips on hers but it made her lips tingle. She pulled away and raised a quizzical eyebrow at him.

"Actions speak louder than words, occasionally." He answered her unspoken question. He leant in again, his hands holding the sides of her head, tilting it. She wrapped her arms around his neck, their kisses getting more urgent.

"No more running?" She asked, pulling back again.

"No more running." He replied firmly, leaning in for a third time. He pushed her back quite forcefully and pressed her into the wall, their kisses now more urgent than ever. His hands automatically moved to her waist and hers to his top button.

"Wait," She grinned. "We are in your office."

"True," He smiled back, a faint hint of sadness showing.

"Doesn't stop us kissing though," She smiled up at him.

"That's also true," He kissed her softer this time, his hands reaching for hers and entwining fingers with her.

She sighed happily when she was back in her office, ready to deal with the paperwork waiting for her, she had already kindly seen Michael's patient for him. Her lips still slightly tingled and she was tempted to go straight back to Hanssen's office, but decided against it when she gave her paperwork another loathsome glance. She checked her watch and realised her shift was almost over, meaning she would have to stay to complete the work. Giving Eleanor a quick ring to explain, she felt her happy bubble burst when she listened to her daughter ranting at her.

"Oh come on, mum. You've been away all weekend, you promised me, tonight's for you and me."

"And I want it to be, but I can't help it can I?"

"Look, do you know what; I won't be home when you finally decided to turn up. I'm going round a friend's, don't bother asking who, I'll be home when I am. You always put work first." She hung up and Serena groaned as the door opened.

"Hey, what's up?" Michael asked.

"Daughter," She replied, sadly glaring at her phone. "I've got to stay to do this," She gestured at her paperwork "And she's not to happy."

"I'm having problems with my daughter too, but she's in the States. Serena, your daughter is at home waiting for you. You can't put this first. You'll retire from this one day but you're daughter's there for life. Night." He smiled, backing out. She glared at the pile for a moment longer before throwing her pen down and pulling her phone out of her pocket. Eleanor hadn't left and when Serena explained she was on her way home she said she wouldn't go out. She shrugged her coat on and picked up her bag and headed home to her daughter. However, not before diverting her route to Hanssen's office level and treating him to a goodbye kiss.

**I know the Eleanor part at the end was a bit random but it's important for future chapters. Hope you like it and please please please leave a review! **** xxxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**I know I haven't updated recently :( I might be able to update the next chapter quite quickly now though, as my controlled assessment is being handed in tomorrow and that has taken over my life! Hope you enjoy and this is just the build-up for the next chapter…**

When Serena arrived in her office the next morning her heart sank as she eyed up the work. So it hadn't magically done itself over night. Although she had to admit, seeing her daughter for a change was nice. She hadn't properly talked to her in a while, and she was surprised how much they had drifted apart. Seeing her daughter had made her feel happy, something she hadn't for a long time. Well, there was that and...  
"Ah good morning Ms Campbell."  
"Mr Hanssen," She greeted, turning to see Hanssen standing in the doorway of her office.  
"Don't forget the report that is due in today."  
"Of course not, how could I?" She smiled as he turned and swept away.

When she finally completed it, she hurried straight to Hanssen's office and burst in, not bothering to knock.

"Ms Campbell, and to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" He asked, looking up sharply when he heard his door open.  
"This," She groaned, throwing the paper down on his desk.  
"Thank you," He smiled, turning his attention back to his laptop. She turned around and went to leave his office.  
"Are you quite alight, Serena?" He asked, dropping the professional image. She glanced over her shoulder with a nod and left his office without so much as a "yes thank you, you?"

Serena got through until lunchtime in a mixture of paperwork, pee break, paper work, pee break, paperwork. Realising she had an afternoon meeting, she sighed in annoyance. Great, cue another "You're never there for me" from Eleanor when she would have to stay to finish her work. The meeting was boring and a waste of time, putting Serena in a worse mood.  
"Ms Campbell, I would like a word in my office as soon as you can please." Hanssen announced at the end of the meeting before striding off. Michael sent her a quizzical glance but when she shrugged her shoulders in response he also left. She decided to go to Hanssen's office straight away, she really didn't want to go back to her office to face the paperwork. When she arrived, knocked and received the standard "come in", she entered his office. She was surprised to see him already standing.  
"Follow me," He said briskly, walking past her and stopping just outside his office.  
"Look, I've got a mountain of work and-"  
"Please, just follow me," He repeated with more fixed finality so she wouldn't argue. She sighed a little in protest but nevertheless followed him down the corridor. Clueless as to where they were going, she was force to follow him like a lost sheep down to the ground level, out through the main doors an through the hospital grounds. The wind was making her freeze and her hands already felt numb as he stopped when they reached a spot where they were covered by trees and out of sight from everyone.  
"Can I ask why I'm here or is it a secret?" He turned to face her.  
"Because you're out of sight from all the prying eyes and because of the wind," He replied.  
"The wind?"  
"The wind. I find it helps to blow away stresses and worries when you're under a lot of pressure."  
"Blow away stress?" She scoffed. He nodded and closed his eyes, tilting his head back slightly. She studied him carefully; he did immediately look a lot more peaceful. She followed suit and closed her eyes. The wind was whipping around her but she welcomed it, allowing her mind to go blank. She really did feel as if it was cleansing her, washing away her stress. Sighing contently, she opened her eyes to find Hanssen looking at her with a faint smile. Feeling stupid, she stared at the floor.  
"What's the matter, Serena?"  
"Nothing," She sighed. He stepped closer and pulled her into a tight cuddle her head resting against his chest. He planted soft kisses on the top of her head in a soothing way.  
After a few moments he stepped back and cupped her face in his hands. "Tell me," He demanded softly.  
"I'm fine," She smiled. He gently kissed her forehead then her lips.  
"Are you sure?" He asked, his dark eyes piercing her own. She felt like he could see right through her.  
"Yes, although," She smiled, the usual sparkle in her eyes returning, "I might feel even better if-"  
"If what?" He teased before kissing her again. She reluctantly broke it a while later and checked her watch.  
"I've got to go and finish that report otherwise I might be lucky to finish my paperwork by the end of this millennium." She kissed him again before she started to walk away.  
"Oh, and thank you." She called over her shoulder.  
"What for?"  
"For blowing away my worries." She grinned before disappearing from sight.

However, her no-stress bubble was harshly popped within half an hour of being back on the ward.  
"Please, darling, help me out here." She begged into her phone. "Shut up, Ric!" She shouted over her shoulder. She carried on searching for her paper that had disappeared in the bombshell she called her desk as she listened to her daughters rant through the phone wedged between her ear and shoulder about how she was never there and Ric's persistent calls from the office door saying that she really needed to take a look at this patient. Finding her paper, she told her daughter she would call her back as soon as possible and shouted to Ric to give her five minutes to finish it off.  
"I'm counting," He called as she pulled the mobile phone from her ear, pressed the end call button and chucked it on her desk.  
"Yeah, you run along and do that," She glared, slamming the office door shut.

After completing her paper and seeing Ric's patient, she was slowly working her way through the mountain of paper work. Remembering the promise to her daughter, she found her phone hiding under her folders and rang her daughter.  
"Hi, look it's me... I know but I can't help it can I?... Hey come on now, I do my upmost for you... No! I'm not trying to guilt trip you, just listen to me... I can't, I need to stay tonight... I came home yesterday didn't I? I have to do it one time or another... No! I'm not saying I didn't want to see you. Oh, come on Eleanor be fair. Don't go out, come on. No, don't hang-" She sighed when the line went dead. "Up," She sighed, chucking her phone down on the desk.  
"Ok?" Ric asked, appearing at the door. He sat at his desk and put his glasses on before turning his attention to the paperwork in front of him.  
"Yeah," She replied.  
"Are you sure? You look done in."  
"Mm..." She groaned. "You know just how to cheer a woman up."  
"That's how I managed to turn into a serial husband along with 1001 kids."  
"Children, God's gift, yeah? I must have sinned like a trooper in a past life then because he's certainly getting his revenge now."  
He smiled at her sympathetically. "Problems with Eleanor?"  
"That's one way to put it," She sighed before turning back to her work. "She seems to think this is all I care about and I have no time for her."  
"And when was the last time you was properly with her?"  
"Yesterday,"  
"And that was the first time in how long?"  
"Oh, I don't know," She groaned. "Don't you start as well, Ric,"  
"I'm not, I'm just asking."  
"Ages. I know I haven't been around much for her but this is the new position and everything and I need I show I can cope."  
"Can you?" She glared at him with suspicion and a slight hint of hurt that he had suggested that.  
"You don't think I can, do you?"  
"No, it's not that at all. I'm saying the hardest job in the world is being a mother and that's not helped by being a consultant in a hospital and your new position. I'm sure you can cope, Serena, but you are only human." She glared again before looking down at her work so he wouldn't carry it on. She could cope, she was Serena Campbell. But could her daughter? All those nights she'd been alone and put herself to bed because Serena had stayed late to this or the other. Serena thought back to their conversation. The last thing she wanted was her daughter to resent her, to hate her. And worse of all to grow up without a mum altogether. She had put work before her daughter for a long time, but surely it comes with the territory? Consultancy didn't just happen, did it? She resolutely picked up her pen and studied the papers before her. So involved in her paperwork, she was barely aware of Ric's pager going off half an hour later and him announcing he had to go as they had an RTA coming in. She gave him a quick nod and he hurried out of the room. A few minutes later, the door banged open again and she looked up to see a pale-looking Chantelle standing there.

"Ms Campbell, the RTA, I'm so sorry, it's Eleanor."

**You're reviews are amazing! Keep them coming guys and hold tight for the next :) **


	9. Chapter 9

Serena froze, her whole world screeching to a standstill. She stood and pushed past Chantelle and onto the ward. She watched in a helpless silence as Ric gave demands about  
emergency theatre slots and paging surgeons, catching names like 'Jac' and 'Hanssen'. She felt a soft arm on her shoulder belonging to Chantelle. Serena wanted to push her as far away as possible and shout and scream but instead, found herself frozen to the spot in shell  
shock. She stared at the vulnerable, lifeless girl on the bed who looked worse than death itself. Surely that wasn't her happy-go-lucky, charming daughter? She felt another hand, rougher this time, close around her arm and let them pull her away from this horrific scene.  
"That's not Eleanor," She whispered quietly.  
"I'm so sorry, Serena. We are doing absolutely everything for her, she's in the best hands possible," She glanced up at the American who was trying to soothe her and broke down, the tears streaming down her face. He pulled her close, resting her head against his chest. As she sobbed, her tears soaking Michael's scrubs, he rocked her gently, every now and again stroking her hair, knowing no words would hold any comfort for her.  
"What happened?" She asked.  
"It was an accident. The car she was in lost control, no ones to blame." She realised she was in the staff room as Michael sat her down. He proceeded to make a cup of coffee for her in silence while she threw her head into her hands refusing to believe it. He placed the cup in front of her and pulled a chair up beside her.  
"Hey, come on," He whispered, rubbing her back soothingly. "Hanssen and Jac are operating on her now. She's in the best hands possible and you know it." Sinking in the information, she looked up at him.  
"Hanssen _and_ Jac?"  
Michael sighed, reaching for her hand. "Look, her injuries mean the operation she's having needs a CT/GS collaboration. I'm not going to lie, they are bad. But she has a strong chance of pulling through."  
"Michael, the last bit of communication between us was an argument. What if she - what if something happens? It's my fault, had I not had to stay, then she'd never of gone out." She admitted, the guilt slowly but surely eating her up.  
"Hey, come on now. If we all thought like that then we'd live a life full of guilt. We can blame ourselves all we want, but you have no reason to."  
Serena didn't know how long she and Michael were sitting in the staff room, him holding her why she sobbed until she had no tears left. The next thing she was aware of was the door opening.  
"Serena," She looked up sharply when she heard the familiar voice.  
"Is she ok?" She asked, taking in the tall figure moving closer, still dressed in his scarlet scrubs. Hanssen sighed and pulled another chair up to the other side of her. She found some comfort in being sandwiched between two men she cared about, she didn't feel so alone.  
"The operation went well. She's in recovery now. She's going to be absolutely fine." Serena nodded and relief flooded through her.  
"Thank you." She whispered. "Can I-?" Hanssen nodded stood up, gesturing for her to join. She gave Michael a thankful smile and then she stood up and followed Hanssen. He guided  
her silently to her daughter, his arm around her for support. He didn't care that the whole hospital could see them and make judgments, she needed his support right now and he was going to give it, regardless. He paused just outside the door.  
"Prepare yourself. She looks bad but she's stable," She nodded and he pushed open the door. No matter how much she prepared, it was never the same as real life. She walked slowly to her daughter and sat in the chair beside her. She was as white as a sheet and she looked so vulnerable. Picking up her hand, she couldn't believe this was her daughter, various tubes and machines attached to her. She glanced up at Hanssen as he sat down next to her.  
"She'll wake any second now," He informed her.  
"Thank you," She said, allowing the fresh bout of tears to roll down her cheeks. He smiled at her held her spare hand.  
"I would never have let anything happen to her," They sat there for a while in silence, the only noise being the regular beeps of the machines telling them Eleanor was alive.  
"Mum?" A voice suddenly croaked. Serena and Hanssen both turned their heads sharply to the occupant of the bed.  
"Eleanor," Serena grinned, standing up and kissing her forehead. "How are you feeling, darling?"  
"Like crap. What happened?"  
"You were in an accident. It was my fault I'm so sorry."  
"Don't beat yourself up mum, it's my fault. I didn't mean a word, you really are an amazing mum." Serena smiled and Eleanor squeezed her hand affectionately.  
"I don't mean to be rude, but who the hell are you and what are you doing here?" Eleanor asked, glancing suspiciously at Hanssen.  
"Henrik Hanssen. I operated on you this afternoon," He informed her.  
"An operation? Cool! Did Mr Griffin operate as well? I like him."  
"No, it was myself and Ms Naylor." Eleanor nodded and closed her eyes. "Wait," She said suddenly, reopening her eyes. "Did you say Hanssen? As in mums boss? Tall, skinny and Swedish?" Hanssen nodded and Eleanor grinned cheekily. "I hear you're quite the enigma. I won't say what else she said about you." Serena tutted and smiled at Hanssen.  
"It's not _that _bad," She reassured him.  
"You should rest," Hanssen informed Eleanor.  
"I don't need telling twice," She smiled, closing her eyes and snuggling down. "Night," She whispered.  
"I can postpone you theatre list and get Mr Griffin to take care of your ward rounds," Hanssen smiled to Serena.  
"Thank you," She sighed. He gently squeezed her hand before heading to the door.  
"I'll be back soon," He smiled.

When he had finally managed to sort out Serena's absence for the rest of her shift, he headed back down to Eleanor's room. When he entered, Eleanor was fast asleep and Serena was standing by the window, looking out absent mindedly.

"How is she?" He asked.

"Fine," She smiled, turning to face him.

"And how are you?"

"I'm ok, honestly," She sighed.

"Are you sure?" He stepped closer to her and cupped her face in his hands. She nodded as he leant closer still…

"Don't mind me," A sleepy voice called. Serena grinned and turned to face her daughter.

"I'm being serious," Eleanor grinned. "You two carry on snogging each other's faces off while I lay here, helpless and vulnerable, recovering from a lifesaving operation." Serena rolled her eyes.

"So," Eleanor smirked. "You guys are like…. Eew! Is it serious? Or just se-"

"Eleanor," Serena warned sharply. But she could help but smile, still so grateful she was even alive.

"Damn, I just thought, I can't even give you the 'mum's new boyfriend' treatment because you've literally just saved my life," She sighed, looking at Hanssen.

"I'll be sure to remind you of that fact every time you try," He smiled.

"It's weird, the first time we meet you were prodding and poking my insides before I got the chance to say 'hi, I'm Eleanor, you are'? Anyway, what are they like?"

Hanssen looked at her, confusion etched on his face. "Excuse me?"

"My insides. What are they like?" Both Serena and Hanssen looked at her if she was an alien who had just threatened to take over the world. "What?!" She protested to their looks. "I've always wondered what it's like to see someone's insides. It must be well weird."

"If it interests you, perhaps you should consider following in your mother's footsteps?" Hanssen suggested. "If you don't mind my asking, what are you aspiring to be when you leave education?"

Eleanor shrugged. "I'm not really sure. University and everything. Not my bag."

"I see," Hanssen nodded, clearly in deep thought.

"What?" Eleanor looked at him suspiciously.

"Do you have high enough grades?" Eleanor looked bashful.

"Yes, she does," Serena answered for her.

"Does it interest you? Being a surgeon?" Eleanor nodded. "A specific area? General, cardiothoracics-?"

"Cardiothoracics always sounds interesting." She smiled. "The heart is amazing. It's the most important thing in the whole body,"

Hanssen smiled. "Ah, if it isn't another one of those narrow-minded heart specialists who think the heart is the most important organ."

"What?"

"Mr Hanssen here is a GS surgeon. We always despise people who believe the heart is what makes the body work." Serena informed her daughter.

"The kidneys get on silently with their job, not feeling the need to boast about it, unlike the heart." Hanssen smiled, remembering his argument with Connie Beauchamp on this particular matter. As much as he never saw eye-to-eye with Connie – understatement of the century – he did miss her. She was like his match, his equal, verbally, and he enjoyed the challenge of trying to better himself. Jac had since her departure tried to fill Connie's shoes, as it were, but she never did have Connie's style.

"So, just to clarify, you're not going to look into something you are really interested in, because 'University and stuff isn't your bag'?" Eleanor nodded but then shifted slightly.

"You're making me feel guilty. What are you trying to say?"

"It's a no brainer when you think about it," Hanssen said. "What I am trying to say is don't throw away your chance of something you want to do because of a few years work in university."

"7 to be a cardiothoracic surgeon." She informed him. "7 years! And after that, one slip up and I'm out."

"And you know its 7 how?" Hanssen asked, clearly getting slightly impatient as he did that day when he was discussing a similar subject with the son of his first patient at Holby who chose against university because of his dad even though he had the grades.

"I looked it up." Serena looked at her in surprise, clearly unaware this had occurred. "And it's not just uni, from what I see you spend more time in your office with paperwork than in theatre." She sighed, looking at her mum.

"It's not always like that," Serena reassured her.

"As I said, a no brainer," Hanssen said. "But do consider GS," He smiled, hearing the door open.

"GS? I don't know, hearts are amazing,"

"Let us not forget the kidneys though,"

"Excuse me? Mr Hanssen, I do hope you're not trying to convert a heart specialist to GS," A familiar voice said from the door.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Ms Naylor. I'm not trying to convert a heart specialist. A _future_ heart specialist actually."

Jac smiled – well, as much of a smile as Jac gave – and walked over to the bed. "So, a surgeon?" She asked. Eleanor shrugged.

"I don't know. Uni and paperwork and everything." She sighed.

"What? If you're interested, go for it. It's not as hard as it seems, if you want to be a surgeon. You clearly need advice from someone on a heart ward, not GS," She said, looking pointedly at Hanssen. "That's obviously going to be me." She sat on the spare chair. "Right, it's going to be hard. It involves a lot of work. A bit more time alone in your room studying than out at the bar, I'm not going to lie. But then end result, it's amazing. You get the chance to save peoples life daily. It's the most rewarding feeling in the world, trust me. Go for it!" She stood up and headed back to the door.

"I just came to check you alright," She smiled.

"Wait, your names Naylor, right? As in Jac? You operated on me?" Jac nodded as the door opened.

"Naylor, your needed in theatre now," Michael announced, hand on the door handle.

"See what I mean?" She smiled. "Theatre's a big part of being a doctor!"

"What is this?" Eleanor complained. "Did you all mistake this room for a board room? Or is it just 'invite all the consultants to see Eleanor' day?"

"Sorry," Michael grinned.

"Actually, hi," She smiled to Michael, looking him up and down. "So you're the arrogant American, huh, Michael? Michael-?"

"Spence," He grinned, shaking her hand. "Charming. I'm not arrogant," He added, hitting Serena playfully on the shoulder.

"No, _of course _you're not arrogant," Serena said sarcastically.

"Right, I'm off to theatre," Jac said from the doorway.

"See you around, _Naylor," _Eleanor grinned.

"That's Ms Naylor to you," She said before leaving the room.

"Jeez – she's harsh." Eleanor grinned. "I hope not all heart surgeons have to not own a heart themselves,"

"Aww, the thing with our Naylor is she's a pussycat at heart, just like our Mr Hanssen," Hanssen looked at Michael with a hint of distaste; he never did like Michael much. "If you think she's bad, then you should've met our Connie." He looked at Serena. "You never did get the honour to meet our Mrs Beauchamp did you?"

Serena shook her head and Hanssen gave a small smile. "Unlike Mr Hanssen here. They used to be joint DOS, until she resigned. She had a baby, would you believe it? We swore she was plugged into the mains at the end of day! If you're looking for sweet and genius, then you have to meet our Professor Hope. He like Santa Claus all cute and cuddly." Hanssen stood suddenly and walked to the door.

"I'll be back," He announced before leaving.

"Charming!" Eleanor grinned.

"You were literally just complaining about everyone being here!" Serena laughed.

"Well, it doesn't mean I want them to suddenly walk out!" She protested. Serena sighed and shook her head in mock despair. Eleanor grinned at her before turning to Michael and striking up a conversation with him. When the topic turned to boys, Serena was about to interrupt when the door opened, saving her the trouble. Hanssen walked in, holding a leaflet. He handed it silently to Eleanor before sitting back down again.

"Cardiothoracics," Eleanor read out loud before opening it up. "Oh, wow, it tells you everything," she grinned. "Thanks," She nodded to Hanssen.

"Where did you get that from?" Serena asked.

"Professor Hope." Hanssen answered, looking ever so slightly pleased with himself.

"I'd best go," Michael smiled, "AAU doesn't run itself." He shook Eleanor's hand again, wishing her all the best, squeezed Serena's shoulder and nodded to Hanssen before leaving.

"Shouldn't you be going too mum?" Eleanor asked. "Your shift ends soon doesn't it?"

"I'm not going anywhere." Serena said firmly.

"Mum!" Eleanor protested. "Go home! I'm absolutely fine!"

Serena looked at her, unsure. "No-"

"She's right. You should go home. You can't properly look after someone else if you don't care for yourself." Hanssen joined in.

"See! Go ho-"

"Fine!" Serena sighed, getting up and kissing her daughters forehead. "Any problems though, get someone to call me. I'll be back first thing."

"Mum!"

"Sorry," She smiled. "Night," Hanssen held the door open for her and followed her out, closing the door softly.

"I don't want to go home alone," She sighed.

"Then come back with me."

She looked at him in surprise. "What?"

"Come with me to mine."

"Look, it's been a hard day. I'm not-"

"No! Just for company, so you're not alone." He smiled.

"Ok," She grinned.

"Good. Go and collect your things and meet me in my office when you're ready." She nodded and they both headed in different directions to their own offices.

Hanssen sighed when he heard someone knocking at the door. Serena could come any second.  
"Come in," He called.  
"Mr Hanssen," Elliot smiled, walking in.  
"I was actually on my out, Professor Hope,"  
"It won't take long," Elliot said, clearly not willingly to give up.  
"Fine," He sighed, sitting behind his desk. "How can I help?"  
"I'm going to get straight to the point, we need back up!" Elliot announced. "We are so understaffed on Darwin."  
"There's not much I can do in this situation, Professor," Hanssen said firmly. "We've neither the resources nor money."  
"If you want Darwin to thrive, then we need more staff," Elliot stood up and pulled open the door. "Even just a temporary consultant or registrar, we need the backing," He left the office, slamming the door shut behind him. Hanssen sighed. He knew he only had one choice. He knew one person who loved Darwin beyond words… Picking up the phone, he proceeded to dial a number. Half way through, he slammed the phone back down. He couldn't do it. He would – could – never bring himself to do it. There must be another way, he never wanted to crawl back to her and beg. But he knew deep down he didn't have a choice. He picked the phone back up with a sigh and dialled the number reluctantly.

"Hello?" A familiar voice answered.

"Mrs Beauchamp?"

**Guys – please review, they mean so much to me!xx :) I've postponed the ending as I've**

**decided the Snow Queen should reign at Holby once again…x **


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry about the delay in updating… Trust me, I've never had so many flipping coursework due dates in my diary! Can't wait to leave school! (in another 5 years… **** ) Guys – anyone want to be friends of facebook? If you have an account, pm me and I'll send you ma name and what ma profile pic is and you can add me! Pretty please? *cue puppy dog eyes!***

**This update contains no Serena/Hanssen, wanted a break for a chapter so a one-off focused on Connie as she returned but a lot SC/HH more next chapter – when Connie has to decide whether to put her professional or personal opinions of Serena first when Eleanor needs an operation that's best done by the Snow Queen herself… Anyway – more Serena/Henrik next chapter!**

**To all you beautiful people out there who have R&R my stories... Thank you sooooo much guys, I 3 you loads!x Special shout-outs to: MrsHanssen, hadrians77, K.A.S.97 and sdbubbles and any other special peeps who have R&R most if not all of my updates.. THANK YOU!x Review and I'll add you in the next shout-out guys!x Back to story: Our Mrs Beauchamp has nothing to do with Serena/Henrik main plot, I just missed her like hell and I wanted her back so I bought her back, logical, right?! I re-watched the episode "Snow queens," The other day and LMAO!x I think we should have a few Connie quotes just to welcome her back (dunno if I've already mentioned them but who cares, yolo!:**

**Connie Beauchamp: Stop being so superior. Just because you're seven feet seven doesn't mean you can...  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: Pressurizing the donor family, telling the donor family about the recipient, ignoring the protocol of waiting list eligibility, failing to contact UK Transplant - it's like you *want* a tribunal.  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: No, it's like I want to resign. In fact that's it - I'm resigning. Consider that my resignation.  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: Oh really!  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: Don't "oh really" me, you depressing giant Swede. I will *not* be part of it - the cuts, the redundancies. Or "firings" as I like to call them. I can't do it. It goes against *everything* I believe in.  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: Not prepared to play the villain?  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: No, that's not it, and you know it. Listen, from one to another, you really have it down to an art form. Do you know what they call you? "Horrid Henrik", "Henrik the Herring", "Henrik Hitler", "Bjorn the Slasher". Shall I go on?  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: If *we* don't do it, someone else will.  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: Huh! Yes, well that's exactly the kind of tosh people like us say to salve our consciences. You *know* that I'm making the harder decision.  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: Then you are the toughest of all cookies, and I merely crumble in your presence. What I *actually* came to talk about was to say I've spoken to UK Transplant on your behalf. Given the uniqueness of our situation and the geographical imperative, they've verbally okayed the procedure. So now that I've saved you from a GMC hearing, do you still want to resign?  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: Yes I do.  
[**_**Henrik looks gobsmacked**_**]  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: Right. And do you have anything to add before I cascade the email, or will the smorgasbord of Swedish jibes suffice?  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: Elliot Hope is a genius.  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: The question of his health remains.  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: It would be a *huge* mistake to get rid of him.  
**_**Henrik Hanssen**_**: You're stepping aside for him.  
**_**Connie Beauchamp**_**: No. Yes. D'you know what. This, everything, it's wrong. *You* know it and *I* know it. Happy Christmas.  
[**_**Connie walks away**_**]**

Connie: Do you get altitude sickness?

Will: What?

Connie: From your moral high ground.

**Oh, Connie, you have SERIOUS style!xx More quotes next time… Until then enjoy this chapter and R&R!x**

She sighed and drummed her fingers on the edge of her steering wheel. Glancing up at the familiar building through her front window screen, she couldn't believe she was back at Holby. One phone call and she'd come running. A smirk crossed her face when she saw a familiar, cocky American holding a coffee cup cross in front of her car. Purposefully waiting until he was really close, she finally stepped out of the car. Michael's mouth dropped open when he saw her and he spat out the mouthful of coffee he'd just taken.  
"God, is that really you?" He finally spluttered.  
"No, not God," She glanced over her shoulder mockingly. "Just me. Although some do think of me as part surgical genius, part Goddess, I'll give you that."  
Michaels look of surprise turned into a broad grin. "And others think of you as part devil, part manipulative bitch."  
"Do you know what; I think I missed you least of all. And that includes your giant of a boss." She glared as they headed in the direction of the hospital entrance.  
"Right, 2 things. 1 - Jeez - still angry at him after all this time! Anyway, what the bloody hell are you actually doing here? And 2 – let's be clear on one thing, we may not have always got on. But I'm still God." He smirked conceitedly.  
"God! Ha! Spell the word backwards," She smiled sweetly.  
"Dog?" he replied, his forehead creased with misunderstanding.  
"Yes. The only type of woman who would be seen dead with you," She smirked triumphantly. "And I don't actually know, Hanssen called me last night." She sighed.  
"Wow, the hospital must be getting desperate if he's begging you to return."  
"No, Mr Spence, the hospital got desperate the day they let you through their doors," She replied smartly, stepping into the hospital. As she glanced around the familiar interior, that was it. Connie Beauchamp was back at Holby.

The journey to Darwin was stranger than she had expected. She half-expected Sam Strachan to come running to her about some emergency case or to see Joseph Byrne dithering over a scan. But she just looked at a bunch of unfamiliar faces. Same ward, different people. She paused slightly before entering Darwin, allowing a grin to cross her face as she took in the familiar sign welcoming her to the CT ward. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door to be welcomed by a sight of organized chaos. A streak of auburn hair caught her attention straight away and she watched the feisty red-head shout at a dishevelled looking bloke she soon heard to be Scottish. She quickly backed away before Jac could see her; she was desperate to see one man in particular….  
Pushing open the door to his office, another grin flashed across her face as she saw the familiar rounded figure, with his back to his door, searching his desk for a lost object.  
"Mr Hope, still slaving away here, I see." Elliot froze before a cheesy grin spread from ear-to-ear.  
"Tell me, is that really you Mrs Beauchamp, or am I imagining it?"  
"Oh come on Elliot, I think we both know it's impossible to imagine me," Elliot spun to face Connie who shot him a nervous smile. He hurried forward and pulled her into a tight hug. She decided against trying to fight him off, she really did miss him.  
"Connie Beauchamp back at Holby!" He exclaimed. "How have you been?"  
"Good, great, actually."  
"Brilliant. Grace?"  
"Splendid. You were right Elliot, I'm so glad I spent the last few years with her otherwise I would have missed it."  
"The magic years," He smiled fondly.  
"Indeed,"  
"Oh, Connie, your father?" She bowed her head and gave a small smile.  
"I'm so sorry, Connie," He replied sincerely.  
"Don't be. It's life. Anyway, yourself?"  
"Yeah, great. Just getting on with it to be honest,"  
"And still need me to keep your desk in check? What a mess," She glanced at the desk in disgust.  
"It not a mess! It's an organized chaos." She tutted and picked an old sandwich wrapper up gingerly as if it had rabies. "Organized chaos?" She asked, swinging it tantalisingly before him.  
"I forgot that," He mumbled, snatching it back and chucking it in the bin. She sighed and took it upon herself to sit behind Jac's desk. Elliot grinned at her again, unable to believe she was back at Holby.  
"I hated the post-Beauchamp era," He mumbled. Connie sighed before standing up again and pulling him into a hug. "I really did. It didn't seem right, Holby minus the Snow Queen. I missed you Connie," Connie blinked back the tears as she listened to this. She had missed him too, much more than she would have ever admitted. Everything, coming back here, seeing Darwin, seeing Jac in her place, seeing Elliot… It all got on top of her and the tears ran down her cheeks.  
"Look at me," She grumbled, furiously rubbing them away. "Aren't you supposed to cry on your last day, not when you come back," She sniffed, wiping the last few away.  
"Why are you here?" He suddenly asked.  
"I don't know, Hanssen's called me in," Elliot's face lit up and turned into a picture of recognition.  
"You look like you're about to scream "Eureka," She informed him.  
"I might just do that. I went to see him, I said we were understaffed on Darwin and we was suffering-"  
"And he assumed I'd come running to help out," She said, growing more annoyed.  
"Which you did," He reminded her, she gave him a half-glare as she ran a hand through her still-long hair.  
"You kept your hair long, then. I like the softer look it gives you." Elliot smiled, trying to change the conversation.  
"Softer? In that case do you think I should go skin-head for my meeting with Hanssen? And get a massive tattoo all over my body?" Elliot sighed and shook his head but couldn't stop the inevitable smile.  
"Do you know, his ego has calmed down a lot," She gave a short, disbelieving laugh.  
"That's until I return to stalk the corridors of Holby," She smirked.  
"Don't make it any harder for him to ask you back than it already is. I bet the last thing he wanted to do was come crawling back to you,"  
"Elliot! How could you accuse me of that?" She asked, pretending to be hurt. But under Elliot's headmaster-like stare, she shifted like a naughty schoolgirl before finally breaking a grin. "You know me too well!" Elliot sighed and shook his head.  
"Take me to his office?" She smiled innocently, doing her best butter-can't-melt look. He smiled and held the door open for her.  
"Of course, Mrs Beauchamp," He laughed. "I fill you in on everything on the way."

Connie bade Elliot goodbye and stared at the wooden door of Hanssen's office. Time to face the Cavalry. She bristled when she read the sign announcing his name and his position. She knocked briefly before entering without a reply. The knock gave Serena and Hanssen just enough time to spring apart, but they couldn't wipe the guilty looks off their faces.  
"Oh, my, we _do _look cosy," She smirked sweetly. "I hope I'm not interrupting?"  
"Of course not Mrs Beauchamp." Hanssen replied, moving to sit behind his desk. "Anyway, when do you ever interrupt anyone? We are merely in your way." Beauchamp. Something about that sounded familiar to Serena."Beauchamp. As in Connie Beauchamp, God's gift to Cardiothoracics?" Connie laughed at this and held out her hand.  
"The one and only." She quickly scanned the woman before her, trying to put a name to her from Elliot's hurried descriptions. "Ah, sparkly eyes and short hair, you must be... Serena? Sorry, I didn't get a surname."  
"Campbell. Serena Campbell," She accepted Connie's hand and shook it. 'Executive Director of Surgery. I've read a lot about you, Connie," She knew it was unnecessary to add her title, but felt needed she to anyway. She was beginning to feel wary of Connie already.  
Connie immediately went for the 'you-can't-suck-up-to-me reply'. "Oh, please, Mrs Beauchamp will do. And a few words on a website don't do me much justice." Serena's expression turned icy.  
"Really? I read you are a phenomenal surgeon," She smiled sweetly and Connie smirked triumphantly. "I also read that you have a tendency to rub people up the wrong way." Connie's expression also turned to ice and Hanssen looked on, in his element watching these to women at loggerheads.  
"Well, you shouldn't always believe what you read, Serena."  
"Oh, please, Ms Campbell will do, thank you." Connie gave her one last distasteful glance before turning to Hanssen.  
"And you. Why'd you call me back here? To try and get my opinions on more cuts or staff reductions, huh? Found another vulnerable man with cancer you want to fire?" She barked. She still held a grudge against Hanssen for wanting to sack Ric when he was diagnosed with cancer.  
"On the contrary to reductions actually," He replied, his face straight and emotionless. "I-"  
"So it's true?" She interrupted. "You're going to beg me to take my old job back?"  
He glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "I do not beg," He protested. "I ask persuasively." Connie laughed harshly at this.  
"And have you ever persuaded me to do anything before?"  
"First time for everything," He said briskly. "So, Mrs Beauchamp, let's get straight to the point, I've never been one for beating around the bush. Will you reign once more as a cardiothoracic consultant at Holby? It will only be a temporary position of course." Connie glanced at him suspiciously.  
"Why should I?" She retorted childishly.  
"Connie, would you really want to see all your years of hard work go down the drain? Darwin is suffering. Are you just going to stand by and watch? And of course, Darwin failing means no Elliot Hope, no Jac Naylor," Connie shifted uncomfortably at Eliot's name. She could never do that to him. Hanssen smirked to himself triumphantly, he had her over a barrel, so to speak, and he was going to use that to his full advantage. "Are you really going to do that to Elliot?" Serena glanced at Hanssen impressed. He certainly knew how to get to her, but she had a nasty feeling Connie could do the same to him.  
"Fine," She sighed. "For Elliot, never ever for you, ok?"  
Hanssen nodded, and he couldn't stop a triumphantly cocky smirk cross his face for a few moments. Connie glared at him. "Take me for a ride - in any way shape or form - and I'm out, got me?" He nodded again.  
"A wise choice, Mrs Beauchamp, well done."  
"If I want you to patronise me, I'll ask. Until that time, it'll be best you keep your mouth shut." Hanssen allowed a disapproving glare cross his face and Connie shrunk slightly, knowing she had probably taken it too far. Serena saved her from Hanssen death-stare before long, announcing she had to go. Connie watched a rare smile cross his face as he watched Serena leave.  
"What's going on between you and the iron lady?" She demanded as Hanssen pulled a boxed salad out of his drawer, clearly sending out a not-so-subtle hint to Connie that she should leave. But Connie was having none of it.  
"Excuse me?" She nodded to where Serena had disappeared.  
"You and her, how longs it been going on for?"  
"Sorry, but I'm not fully understanding your point." Connie rolled her eyes, annoyed that he was feigning innocence. She did like gossip.  
"Oh, come on, don't be so coy. You can't pull the wool over my eyes," She purred, throwing him her most suggestive look which even Hanssen couldn't help but notice for a split second.  
He looked away from her and tucked an immaculate napkin into the top of his shirt perfectly. Connie had to bite her lip to stop herself laughing at how dainty he was being.  
"So," She grinned when he proceeded to pick out the tomatoes and place them neatly on a napkin to the side of the dish. "The rumours aren't true then?"  
"Rumours?"  
"It was always said you snuck off to Paediatrics at lunch time," He looked at her suspiciously. "People say you eat children for lunch," She finally explained.  
"I would have thought you, of all people, wouldn't have sunk to listening to rumours like that, Mrs Beauchamp. How absurd, children for lunch. It is a well-known fact children are eaten at dinner meals only." It was Connie's turn to glance suspiciously. She never really did get his dry sense of humour.  
"Remind me never to let you meet Grace," She shivered.  
"Ah, yes, Grace. Beauchamp-junior. How is she doing?" Connie was well and truly surprised now, Henrik Hanssen asking the welfare of her daughter?  
"Perfect," She smiled fondly.  
"Aren't they all? I have no doubt she can already use a stethoscope?"  
"Obviously, she could do that with her eyes shut by the time she was 2. No, I'm currently teaching her how to diagnose a spontaneous pneumothorax and how to perform a coronary artery bypass graft surgery."  
"In that case, I'm sure we can expect great things from her. Oh, apologies I forgot to ask, Mrs Beauchamp, your father?" She acted the same as she did with Elliot.  
"My condolences," He smiled sadly. "Its always hard to deal with the loss of a loved one,"  
She nodded and sniffed, the memory of it was still raw. "Well, let's not get emotional about it, its life," Hanssen sighed and scanned her. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze; she felt he could see right through her.  
"Connie, you don't have to pretend it didn't hurt." He said sympathetically, completely uncharacteristically. "He was your father." She sniffed again, hating the way that just because he was dead, he suddenly only _was_ her father. Past tense.  
"I don't. Just don't see the point in wallowing. I got to say bye, I'm grateful for that." Hanssen's face darkened.  
"Yes. I suppose it makes it easier when you get to say goodbye, doesn't it?" He said stiffly. A sort of angry-but-sad look flashed on his face before it became blank once more. He noticed she was looking at him suspiciously, and so he quickly diverted her attention.

"Tomatoes," He said suddenly, delicately picking out the last few pieces of tomato remaining in his salad.  
"Oh, well done, it's a tomato," She congratulated him sarcastically. "Good to see years of education at our finest schools and universities haven't been wasted on you. Would you like a pat on the back and a sticker with 'congratulations' on it?"  
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow for a few moments. "A pat on the back and a sticker. Tell me, Mrs Beauchamp, are you imagining me in a boy scouts uniform once again?" The same look of distaste crossed her face.  
"Er… Anyway, what about tomatoes?"  
"Do you like them?" Connie looked at him in surprise. She'd come to realise that at much as you try, it's impossible to figure Henrik Hanssen out.  
"What?"  
"Tomatoes. Do you like them? It's not a trick question."  
"Er... No, not really." She glanced at him suspiciously.  
"At least we can agree on one thing." He stood up and strode to the door, pulling open the door for her. "Good day, Mrs Beauchamp." She walked through the door he held open and started to walk down the corridor. "Oh, and one last thing, Mrs Beauchamp," He called after her. She turned to face him. "Welcome back to Holby." He slammed the door shut while she stared in silence. It really was impossible to understand him…

**R&R! You amazing people!xx **


	11. Chapter 11

Serena wasn't sure how she managed to get through the past few days. It had been a blur of sitting by her daughter's beside, going home occasionally to get a change of clothes and shovelling down half a sandwich or so when she thought about it. Seeing as though Hanssen practically forced her to take compassionate leave until her daughter was fully recovered, the only time she saw her office was when she popped up in the odd half an hour or so she got spare when her daughter was sleeping to see Ric and Michael. As much as she loved Ric, she still found Michael had been her favourite big-brother recently. Both of them had rallied around her while her daughter was recovering, but Michael was always there, checking she was OK. Whenever she popped in her office in those precious few moments, Michael had a 6th sense and always appeared at about roughly 5 minutes after her. And this time was no different, as she sat in her office talking to Ric.  
"-yeah, so she's doing great, should be back home by the end of the we-" She glanced up when the door opened. Michael stood there, 3 coffees in hand.  
"Thought I'd make sure the best two people in this hospital apart from myself are well-hydrated," He grinned, passing around the coffees. "And an extra special treat for my baby Rena," He winked, producing a slightly-crumpled, half-eaten chocolate bar and handing it to her with a flourish.  
"It's half eaten," She shook her head in mock despair.  
"What? I was hungry and I _did _carry the coffees all the way here!"  
"Would you like a medal?" She asked sarcastically, and sighed when he nodded earnestly. "All you blokes think you can just sit on your arses all day!"  
"Well, just for that you can't have the other half," He retorted childishly, pulling it out of her reach. However, Serena was suffering from a serious lack of sugar and would have given her right arm for half a chocolate bar at that moment in time, even if it did have Michael's slobber all over it.  
"I'm sorry Michael," She smiled sweetly. "You are my bestest friend ever,"  
He pretended to think this over for a while before finally delivering his verdict. "Ok, I'll give it to you as long as you say 'Michael, you are the best person ever and I don't know what I would do without you'!" She sighed irritably, not wanting to have to suffer this public humiliation.  
"Michael," She reluctantly parroted. "You are the bestest person ever and I don't know where I would be without you,"  
"Excellent," He grinned, pressing it into her hand. Serena glared at it in annoyance, wondering whether it had been worth it after all. Deciding she had better check to see if it was worth it, she took a bite and enjoyed the rush of sugar that exploded in her.  
"Thank you," She grinned thankfully.  
"That's ok, you look like you need it," Michael replied.  
"Oh, jeez, thanks Michael, you make me feel really great about myself," She sighed irritably, chucking the now-empty wrapper in the bin. "Remind me, what was it that nurse from neurology said? 'Oh, Michaels so sweet and charming. He's like God's Gift to us women',"  
"And I am thank you," Michael replied defensively. "I bet I could even seduce the might Mrs Beauchamp," Ric spluttered while Serena looked at Michael disbelievingly. She'd only known Connie for a few days but even she couldn't see a man-eater like Connie with Michael. "Don't look at me like that, I could!"  
"From what I hear, every other bugga has!" Serena grinned. "Not much of a challenge!"  
"True, thing to remember with Connie is, if it moves, she tries to shag it!" Ric, oblivious to his fellow consultants, squirmed uncomfortably in his seat for a split second.  
"I'm curious now, though. Give me your best chat-up line," Serena dared, a dangerous glint in her eye. Michael thought about this proposal for a few moments before nodding.  
"Go for it," Serena grinned. Michael whipped his expensive-looking jacket off and held it out to her.  
"Feel it," He demanded. Serena glanced at it suspiciously before gingerly reaching out her index finger to touch it. "_That,_" Michael grinned triumphantly. "Is boyfriend material," Ric chuckled loudly and Serena threw her head in her hands, laughing loudly.  
"If you don't mind my saying, Mr Spence, I've heard quite a few lines like that in my time. But that was genuinely something else." A voice said from the door. They all turned to see a familiar tall figure standing at the doorway, a slightly amused look on his face.  
"Thanks," Michael said cockily, throwing a triumphant look at Serena. Serena rolled her eyes in despair before smiling at Hanssen.  
"Can we help you at all, Mr Hanssen?"  
"Yes, Ms Campbell, a word if you will," Serena nodded before standing up and following him out of the office. She found it difficult to keep up with him as his massive strides left everyone in his wake. He finally paused outside and empty room and pushed it open, gesturing for her to go first. He followed, shutting the door behind them.  
"I...er…you… left this," He said awkwardly, pulling something out of his pocket. Serena immediately recognised the glint of gold. "This morning,"  
"Oh, thanks," She smiled, reaching out to receive her necklace. But he kept it out of her reach.  
"Would you like me to-" He asked. Serena nodded and turned her back to him. He moved forward until he was very close, almost touching. He very slowly placed her necklace on her and did up the clasp. When he had done it up, he gently placed his hands on her waist. She smiled and turned in his arms so she was facing him.  
"Thank you," She whispered. He smiled before pressing a soft kiss on her lips.  
"I was going to go and see Eleanor to make sure everything is in order for her discharge in the next few days," He informed her.  
"I was going to go down soon anyway so I'll come with you," She replied. He nodded and they proceeded to head to the lift and then finally arriving outside her daughter's room. Serena entered first followed by Hanssen.  
"Are you ok, darling?" Serena asked, sitting in the bed-side chair.  
"Yeah, although Molly's just put on Facebook that she and Kieran have split up. Apparently he kept eying up the lady at the ticket booth when they went to the cinema last night so she chucked him. She's pretty devastated so I've been texting her. She said she swore he was 'The One' and her soul-mate," Serena had to bite her lip to stop herself from bursting out laughing and the corners of Hanssen's mouth twitched, the only sign of his amusement.  
"I suggest you tell your friend that she will soon get over him," Hanssen informed her.  
"No!" Eleanor insisted earnestly. "She said she loved him and she'll never recover!" Hanssen smirked.  
"That's until the next Taylor Launter look-alike comes strolling around the corner," Serena sighed. "Tell her she needs the broken-heart prescription. Tell her to change into her PJ's, put Grease on, grab a massive tub of Ben and Jerry's and cry for a bit. She'll soon feel much better,"  
"And to cuddle up with that long-lost favourite teddy bear," Hanssen added. Serena and Eleanor looked at him strangely. "Everyone has a favourite teddy bear from their childhood. And I always found the best thing to do was to cuddle up with them for the night whenever you need to feel better."  
Serena couldn't stop a wicked grin cross her face. "_You? _A cuddly toy?"  
"Yes, what were you expecting?"  
"I don't know, a stethoscope and the latest textbook on medicine?"  
"I was very fond of Mr Marshmallow thank you," He protested slightly.  
"Mr Marshmallow?" She burst into peals of laughter.  
"Something funny?" He asked stiffly.  
"No, not at all," She replied sarcastically.  
"Do you remember Spoogles mum?" Serena sighed in annoyance.  
"That thing haunted me from the day I bought it," She shivered at the memory of it.  
"I'd love a ted called Mr Marshmallow though!" Eleanor grinned.  
"Thank you," Hanssen smirked triumphantly. "At least _one _of you appreciates my exquisite taste of names," Serena shook her head with a smirk.  
"Does he still live with you, _Mr Marshmallow?"_ She asked innocently.  
"He has pride of place on the end of my bed thank you," He replied smartly. "And if you continue to insult him I'm afraid I may have to inform him of your incompetence,"  
"Ooh – I'm scared," She replied sarcastically as the door opened.  
"Do you have a long-lost cuddly teddy from your childhood, Mrs Beauchamp?" Eleanor asked, recognising the woman who had just entered.  
"No, I never saw the point in them," She replied smartly.  
"What are you here?" Serena asked, eyeing her suspiciously.  
"Nice to see you too," She smiled wickedly.  
"I must admit to being the guilty party this time, Ms Campbell. I asked Mrs Beauchamp to come and check everything's fine cardio-wise with Eleanor seeing as though her injuries were GS and Cardio." Hanssen admitted.  
"Couldn't Elliot come?" Serena asked quickly. "Jac?"  
"No," Connie replied firmly. "Now, I must get on with it as _some_ of us do have a ward to run," She pulled the stethoscope from around her neck and proceeded to examine Eleanor. A serious expression crossed her face as she listened intently to the sound of Eleanor's heartbeat through her stethoscope.  
"Is everything ok?" Eleanor asked, taking in Connie's expression which wouldn't have looked out of place at a funeral.  
"Er…yeah!" She replied, trying and failing to put a reassuring smile on her face. But everyone in the room could see she was far from convinced. "Notes," She demanded, holding out a hand. Hanssen reluctantly passed them to her, not use to doing things on command. Her face grew all the more grave as she flicked through the pages containing valuable information. She closed the notes and placed them in their allocated slot at the end of her bed. "Thank you," She smiled her usual exit to Eleanor, swinging her stethoscope back around her neck. She turned to the door and called sternly over her shoulder. "Mr Hanssen, a word if you will." He inclined his head before unfolding himself from his chair. Serena watched Hanssen follow Connie out of the room, a feeling of dread spreading through her.  
"What's going on?" Eleanor asked. She was trying to be brave, acting as if she didn't care, but Serena could see right through her.  
"Nothing serious. I'm sure," She smiled a smile which didn't quite reach her eyes. "You don't need to be scared, darling." She assured her, gently placing her over her daughters.  
"I'm not!"  
"It's a mother's prerogative to nag, whine and be insufferable. But it's also a mother's prerogative to know exactly what their children are feeling." She said firmly, squeezing her hand.  
"I'm not scared!" Eleanor half-heartedly protested, but didn't bat away her mums hand and brush off her concerns as fiercely as Serena had expected.  
"Good," She realised as much as she was trying to reassure her daughter, she was also trying to fight away the venomous whisper in the back of her mind telling her that she had no clue why Connie had rushed off for an urgent conversation with Hanssen. Serena sat in deep thought, the doctor in her becoming dominant as she ticked off a mental list in her mind of the possible things that could be wrong with her daughter. Eleanor was typing single-handedly on her phone – she still didn't quite have the heart to pull her hand out of her mum's grip – while fighting with the internal battle going on in her mind. 'Are you sure everything's fine?'…'don't be silly, Mrs Beauchamp said you were fine'…'Well, she would, she's only being nice, part of the job'…'No, she would lie would she?'…'Would she? Would she? Are you sure?'  
Her mind was drawn out of this battle when Serena stood up.  
"I'm getting a coffee," She answered the unasked question that was about to roll off of her daughters tongue. "Want anything?"  
"Mmm… I might just try a large hot chocolate with extra cream and marshmallows," She sighed melodramatically as if it was a massive struggle to try and fight down a large hot chocolate with extra cream and marshmallows.  
"Are you sure that's all?" Serena asked, her voice dripping with fond sarcasm.  
"Well, if a chocolate bar is going, I won't say no. But I don't want to push you," Serena rolled her eyes before pressing a soft hiss on Eleanor's forehead.  
"I love you mum," She said suddenly. The genuine care in her voice took Serena by surprise. Her daughter had certainly taken on the stroppy-and-distant-teenager role recently. The late nights, the chat-back, the short, distance response of 'yeah, im fine' when Serena asked about her welfare, or the 'same old' when she asked about her day, the secret alcohol, the 'Jeez, mum, I'm doing coursework' When Serena asked what she was doing on her laptop when she knew it would be facebook, twitter or any other of these sorts of things teenagers were addicted to these days.  
"I love you too, sweetheart." She whispered, trying to fight back the tears. She wasn't exactly sure why she was almost crying, Eleanor was fine and about to make a full recovery. But something about almost losing her made her realise something…** Don't cry, not in front of Eleanor** She berated herself. She'd always tried to stay strong in front of her daughter, even when she was divorcing her ex-husband. She'd always shown a façade of being indestructible. No one could hurt or damage Serena Campbell in anyway, not while her daughter was there anyway. Of course, as soon as her back was turned, Serena curled up in front of the TV, eating her salary away on Chinese and drinking it away on all the wine her liver could take in one night. But as far as Eleanor was concerned, her mum was strong and relentless and Serena would keep that for as long as she could. But something about near-death experiences always put one's life into perspective. Clearing her throat, she straightened up and headed to the door. Pulling it open, she stepped onto the ward and immediately noticed a familiar, lean figure in a very fiery conversation with the woman next to him as they both pondered and poured over the scans attached to the wall in front of them. Immediately knowing what they were talking about, hurried over, desperate to know what was going on with her daughter. Connie looked stricken when she saw Serena approach and she quickly nudged Hanssen who in turn looked uncomfortable with Serena's presence.  
"Tell me, I'm a big girl I can take it," She said, her voice reducing to a dangerously soft whisper, a menacing glint in her eye, daring them to disobey her.  
"Serena, Connie thinks Eleanor has-" He reeled off some medical-sounding name that Serena hadn't heard of, seeing as though she wasn't a cardio surgeon.  
"She has a right to know," Hanssen defended himself, taking in Connie's stony glare, before Connie got the chance to berate him.  
"_Mr Hanssen_ believes I'm wrong-"  
"I didn't say that did I? I said it's a rare diagnosis and we need a second opinion. Maybe get Elliot come and take a look-"  
"That's ironic coming from you! If it wasn't for me fighting tooth and nail, Elliot wouldn't have a job. Neither would Ric!"  
"And if it wasn't for me, Ric wouldn't have his life, would he?" Hanssen hissed sharply. Connie and Hanssen both fell into a menacing silence, glaring icily at each other. "Call Elliot," He said in his most commanding voice before turning on his heel and striding off. Connie and Serena watched as he made his way through the ward, his long and purposeful strides leaving all his colleagues in his wake. Anyone who tried to make conversation with him was soon cut off as he just simply carried on striding through the ward, the speed of his strides sending out the message of 'Ah, doctor or nurse so-and-so, how lovely to see you. I'm really rather annoyed right now so I suggest you leave me alone as I'm not in the mood for pleasant chit-chat'. Connie cleared her throat when he disappeared from sight and pulled the scans from the wall. Her ego had been damaged, she was not use to someone having so much authority over her and showing her up in fellow consultants. Especially if that consultant was Serena Campbell.  
"Shall we tell your daughter now?" She asked Serena, not fully making eye contact with her.  
"What about Elliot…"  
"I will get Elliot's opinion, but your daughter deserves to be kept in the loop. We can tell your daughter this is a diagnosis, but it just needs a second opinion," She suggested and Serena quickly searched it for a catch or flaw. But when she no obvious reason to object, she reluctantly nodded. She was very wary of Connie. In the few times they had come across each other, they had been very hostile, the witty comments relentless. They saw each other as potential threats, they both liked dominance and they both liked the idea of power…

"Serena, aren't you meant to be with Eleanor? Connie, what are you doing on Keller?" They both turned at the recognition of the smooth, calming voice.  
"Ric," Connie smiled, her expression changing back to her usual, charming look. "I came to check out a patient. Eleanor."  
"Yeah, and I was- Damn!" She sighed, remembering the reason she had left. "Getting hot chocolate and coffee. Want anything?" Ric accepted the offer of a coffee and Serena turned hesitantly to Connie.  
"Er… yeah, a coffee will be lovely, thanks. I'll wait to tell her until you get back." She said before turning and starting a conversation with Ric. Serena set off in pursuit of the much needed caffeine. When Serena had completed her order, handing over a fistful of coins, about to receive her order when the-fresh-out-of-kindergarten servicewoman dropped her coffees everywhere, accepted the free refill, she turned to head back up to Keller when a man she couldn't have been happier to see appeared next to her as she waited for the lift.  
"Elliot!" She smiled as the lift doors opened. He greeted her in response and when all the niceties had been observed, she glanced down at the take-out cartons in her hands.  
"Oh, Elliot, I would have bought you a coffee had I known-"  
"Don't worry," He smiled, pulling a bottle of something she could only guess was a kind of juice out of his briefcase. "Connie's got me on these. Absolutely pointless, won't do anything for me or my heart!" He said bitterly, opening it up and taking a sniff. His face contorted into a look of disgust. "I've lost count of the amount of these one can leave on a bus on the way to work!" The doors opened on Darwin level but Serena stopped Elliot leaving, explaining the whole situation. Serena smiled gratefully when he agreed to come and promised him as many coffees and cakes as he could manage when Connie had her back turned. They reached the ward and Connie immediately launched into a description of the whole situation when she spotted Elliot. Serena handed the coffees (And large hot chocolate with extra cream and marshmallows) around but purposely kept Connie's until last. She was about to hand it to her but nodded in the direction of a distant corner. Surprised, she followed her to her the corner of the ward and Serena handed her the coffee.  
"Reason why I couldn't receive my coffee in the middle of the ward?" She asked, taking a delicate sip and burning her tongue in the process.  
"Why? Why did you want Eleanor to know?" Serena launched straight into the attack, unable to keep her curiosity at bay.  
Connie was clearly taken aback by these questions, Serena had caught her when she was least expecting it. However, it didn't stop the answer that had already formed on her lips. "Because if I was in the same position, I would want my daughter to know exactly what was going on. Grace means the world to me and I'm sure it's the same for you." Serena stared in silence, shocked by this sudden display of…care. "When I was joint DOS with Hanssen, I had to put on my A-game at all times, he was – is - so sneaky, he can catch you out at any time. So, of course, double time here, less time with Grace. One evening I had yet again missed Grace's bedtime. Elliot came in to our office and had a go at me for staying. As much as I was annoyed at him for doing so, it took just that to get things in perspective for me. He said, 'You know, you'll wake up one day and she'll be eighteen. And you'll have missed it. The best years. The magic years. And she'll want to know where you were. What will you tell her? Go home, Connie'. After all these years I still remember it. And he was right. The last few years I've been with Grace have been the best of my life. What I'm trying to say is, children grow up, enjoy 'em why you can. We haven't got off to the best of starts have we?" Serena shook her head with a smirk. Connie extended a hand forward.  
"Is this the start of a beautiful friendship?" Serena asked.  
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Connie said, arching a beautifully-manicured eyebrow. Serena rolled her eyes but accepted her hand anyway. Connie looked up when Elliot began to call her.  
"If you'll excuse me," She smiled before hurrying off. Serena stayed for a while, in deep thought. Connie's words echoed around her head, playing on her mind. Her daughter's accident had really put into perspective how she handled her life. Made her realise… did she pay as much attention to her daughter as she deserved, as she wanted, as she needed? Did the title 'consultant' rule her life? But it did come with the territory, how could she be a consultant and be the mum Eleanor needed? She couldn't. That was evident now. Connie got to spend more time with her daughter, but she had to… An option that hadn't even crossed Serena's mind before, leaving. But as she thought more and more about the situation she found herself in, she couldn't help but wonder whether it would be for the best. Her heart panged as she thought about leaving Michael, Jac, Ric, all the people she'd come to know and respect so much. The thought of leaving Henrik made her heart shatter. But that was just it, it was time her daughter came first, it was time her daughter became her priority.

Serena sat by her daughter's bedside and watched her sleep intently. It was surprising, how when one had their eyes closed it made them look so much more at peace with the world.  
"Hello," She smiled as Eleanor started to stir.  
"Hi mum!" She grinned, stretching and rolling onto her side. "Has Mrs Beauchamp worked out what's going on?"  
"She thinks she got a diagnosis, but she's running it past Elliot first." Serena informed her. "Darling," She said, looking at her nervously.  
"What is it? Am I dying?" Eleanor asked, her face stricken.  
"What? No, no, I want to ask you something."  
Relief flooded through Eleanor's face. "Fire away."  
"Do I spend too much time here, do you think? Do I give you as much attention as you need?"  
"Woah, what's this? Er… I dunno,"  
"Come on, seriously, do I give you as much attention as you need?" Eleanor saw immediately that Serena wasn't messing around and sighed. Glancing nervously at her mum, she slowly shook her head. Serena made her decision there and then.  
"I'm resigning." She smiled, looking determinedly into her daughters eyes.  
"Wait, what? No, wait, huh? Why? You spent your whole life becoming a consultant."  
"I know. But my whole life is you, sweetheart. I realised now, I'm going to give you the attention you deserve form now on, I've put this place first for too long."  
"So, we just… pack up and go?"  
Serena nodded. "You should be discharged soon and then we go. Spend some time together, get to know each other again, fancy it?" Eleanor stared at her mum for a while, wondering whether she was joking or not. When she finally concluded she was being serious, she nodded.  
"Great, I-" She was cut off when the door opened. Elliot and Connie stepped in and it looked serious.  
"It was as I suspected." Connie said gravely. "I've already run you through the options earlier, so you cans stay here another couple of days or go home this afternoon and go on the waiting list for a few weeks."  
"Should we take you home and go on the waiting list?" Serena asked Eleanor, who nodded in response.  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yep," Eleanor confirmed her decision.  
"Excellent, so, you can be discharged this afternoon." She smiled, said her goodbyes and followed Elliot out.  
"Are you sure you want to do this mum?" Eleanor asked when they were once again alone.  
"If you are?"  
"Of course."  
Serena took a deep breath and smiled. "Right, we'll I've got to go and tell some stuck-up arses to stick their job." She smiled, heading to the door. "I'll be back."

In her office, Serena sat triumphantly in her chair, a broad grin spread on her face. She felt a lot better after telling Cunningham to 'stick his job where the sun don't shine'. Now came the sticky, emotion part Serena could never do. Goodbyes.

She glanced around at the familiar surroundings of AAU she had got to know so well. She had been furious when she had been banished to AAU by Hanssen by as she looked back on it now, she was glad she had been put here, otherwise she'd have never got to have known Michael beyond his cocky, arrogant exterior. She headed straight to his office, not wanting to mull on memories.  
"Well, well, Serena, I notice the charm of AAU couldn't keep you away for long. It gets under your skin." He grinned from his desk as she pushed the door open. She looked over at the desk that still hadn't been moved since she'd occupied it.  
"It was like hell, being trapped here with you." She laughed fondly, trying to fight back the tears as she thought about what she was going to say.  
"Was I that bad?" He asked, looking crestfallen. She smiled sadly before she shook her head with an involuntary sob. He immediately jumped up and pulled her into his strong arms.  
"Rena, what is it, huh? What's up?" She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.  
"Nothing. Just promise me something, yeah?"  
"Depends," He whispered. "I don't do sexual activities for anything less than a fiver." And she could almost see the cheeky grin spreading on her face.  
"Promise me you'll stay Michael Spence. The man I want to throttle and shove into a shallow grave somewhere, but the man I also love as a big brother."  
"I promise. But what's bought on all this emotion, huh?" She couldn't bare the genuine care and concern in his voice. Why was it so much harder to deal with people hating you than people caring for you when you have spent so much of your life relying on yourself?  
"Nothing," She smiled, reluctantly pulling out of his arms. "Just don't want you to change." She gently pressed a soft kiss onto his cheek and he walked her to his office door.  
"I love you too," He smiled, pulling the door open for her. "As a younger sister I want to protect from everything bad." That was it, she had to go straight away. She went to swiftly exit from his office, but Michael grabbed her. "You never change, Serena Campbell, ok?" He pressed a kiss to her forehead before gently stroking her cheek, his thumb running along her cheekbone. "My baby Rena," He smiled fondly and the tears welled up inside of her again. She had to wrench her gaze away from him and quickly rush out of his office as the tears fell thickly down her cheeks.

She couldn't bare to say goodbye to everyone. She'd done Michael now, but there was one sweet nurse she couldn't go without saying bye too.  
"Chantelle," She called, seeing the familiar blonde hair. Chantelle paused and smiled at Serena.  
"Hi Ms Campbell. What can I do for you?"  
"I just wanted to say something. I'm leaving, resigning, to spend more time with Eleanor, and I just wanted to say sorry if I made your life hell while I was here." Serena inwardly cringed at what she said – she really was crap at goodbyes. Chantelle's face fell as she took in what she said.  
"Don't be silly, Ms Campbell, you're one of us now. Part of the big, community family here and we will miss you," She said in her sing-song voice, one of her standard, mega-watt smiled beaming on her face. Something about her words and the sweet, innocent cupcake that was Chantelle made an unwanted lump form in the back of Serena's throat, stopping the words she wanted to say come out. She finally managed 3 words, 2 of which aren't not usually in Serena's dictionary.

"Thank you, Chantelle," She smiled, before pulling Chantelle into a massive hug. Chantelle responded, wrapping her comforting arms around Serena, silently letting her know she and the rest of the hospital were always there for her. She wasn't sure how she had managed it, but without even noticing it, every person in the hospital had somehow become her friend. She knew this would be, by far, one of the worst goodbyes she'd ever had to deal with. And as much of a Goddess as Serena was, goodbyes weren't her strong point. Jac, Elliot, Ric, Chantelle, Malick, Chrissie, even Connie and especially Michael. She shared a bond with each of these people and it would break her heart to say goodbye to any of them, from Michael, cocky, charming and arrogant but her best friend almost to his polar opposite Jac, which was more of a bond or mutual respect than a friendship. But of course… Henrik Hanssen. Serena felt her heart break into a thousand pieces just thinking about it. The comfort she had once found in Chantelle's arms disappeared as she realised that she would have to pull away soon and walk out of Holby City Hospital without even a glance over her shoulder.  
"Don't cry, Ms Campbell," Chantelle soothed, gently wiping Serena's tears as they fell. "Serena – we are all here for you and wish you the best of luck in the future. You are so strong and you'll be absolutely fine, you always are."  
"Oh, Chantelle," Serena sighed, choking on her tears. Chantelle's innocent face suddenly fell.  
"Ms Campbell, I didn't get the chance to organize a leaving drink!" She sighed, upset showing on her face.  
Serena laughed not unkindly at Chantelle's thought process. She wished the biggest worry on her mind was not having a leaving drink. "Chantelle, I hate goodbyes, can't do it. How about you all go out tonight in memory of me, huh? I would prefer that." She started rummaging through her bag until she found her purse that had been buried at the bottom somewhere in the past few days. Finally locating it, she pulled it out and opened it up. She pulled two £20 notes out and handed them to Chantelle.  
"No," She said firmly. "We don't need your money, Ms Campbell."  
"Oh, Chantelle, please take it. Call it my legacy if you will." Chantelle sighed and reluctantly accepted the money thrust upon her.  
"Thank you," She smiled.  
"Chantelle – you are beautiful in your special way. Never let anyone tell you any different and you're the best flipping nurse I've ever worked with so don't ever change for anyone, Ok? Promise me, Chantelle?" She begged, needing this slight bit of comfort before she could bare to part.  
"I promise," She said firmly, unable to stop the huge tears splash down her face. "I'll miss you, Ms Campbell."  
Serena remained silent, the tears choking her so she as physically unable to speak. "Come here," She grinned, pulling Chantelle into another tight cuddle. It was strange, she somehow felt a strange sense of protection over Chantelle at that moment, a motherly instinct to protect the innocent woman before her. "One last thing Chantelle, look after yourself won't you?" Chantelle delicately wiped her tears with a nod. "Stay strong," She pressed a soft kiss into the top of Chantelle's head before turning away from her. **Never look back. **With the deepest sigh, Serena started to walk towards her office without glancing back…

Hanssen sat at his desk, working his way through the piles of paperwork in front of him. All the piles of folders were in equal sizes and spaced equally apart. Every now and again, he would move the folders slightly to his liking, and it was during one of these OCD-ridden moments he noticed a folded piece of paper with his name printed on it which he could have sworn he had never seen before. Unfolding it, he felt his heart sink as he scanned over the signature before reading through the contents:

_**Henrik,**__**I've written and rewritten this but I still can't seem to**__**  
**__**find the right words. But I'm going to try and say it**__**  
**__**anyway.**__**I'm so sorry I couldn't talk to you face-to-face,it's just**__**  
**__**Im not good at goodbyes. But then again, who is? I knew if I**__**  
**__**did I would have been to much of a coward to go.**__**  
**__**  
**__**I am resigning, I don't have a choice. I can't be a mum to**__**  
**__**Eleanor in between running to Holby to play consultant. Both**__**  
**__**of these roles need a whole lot of undivided attention that**__**  
**__**I just can't give them anymore. I put my work before my**__**  
**__**daughter for too long, and I can't believe it took her being**__**  
**__**on death's door for me to realise how often I have put her**__**  
**__**second when she should be first.**__**I love you, and I know no matter how far I go, I will never**__**  
**__**be able to stop loving you, not really. But my priority has**__**  
**__**to be Eleanor and I need you to understand. I've missed most**__**  
**__**of her life and I can't miss another minute. She needs and**__**  
**__**deserves her mum to be there for her. **__**Remember, no matter what anyone says, you're the best man**__**  
**__**for this job. No more swanning off to Sweden, ok? I won't be**__**  
**__**there to send Jac after you. This hospital needs you, so**__**  
**__**don't change. Stay the same Henrik Hanssen I love and care**__**  
**__**for. Don't run from your demons, stay and face up to them.**__**  
**__**Running is only a short term fix.**__**I have to go now. I'll miss you every single day. You're a**__**  
**__**strong man and you can do anything you put your mind to,**__**  
**__**trust me.**__**Take care, Henrik, and **_**adjö så länge**_**,**__**  
**__**Yours always,**__**  
**__**Serena**_


	12. Chapter 12

Hanssen stared at the piece of paper in his hands, trying to contemplate what it was saying. How could this thing in his hands weighing no more than a feather break his heart into a million pieces, how could it tear his world apart just like that? Realising what he had to do, he folded the paper back up – the edges perfectly straight, being the perfectionist he was and headed swiftly to the door. Yanking it open, he headed along the corridor in the direction of the stairwell, his pace quickening. A normal sweep turned into a brisk walk, a brisk walk turning into an almost-running jog, an almost running jog turning into a flat-out sprint. Reaching the top of the stair-well, the usually calm and composed Director of Surgery flew down the seemingly never ending flights of stairs, passing a bewildered looking Elliot on his way down. But not having time to chit-chat, he just fled straight past him. Finally reaching the end, he sprinted through the reception and burst through the main doors and out into the open air.

"Wait!" He called, rushing forward. Serena looked up from placing the last box in the boot of her car when she heard that familiar posh drawl.  
"Henrik," She pleaded, her eyes begging him. "Don't, please. No goodbyes, no looking back." She closed the boot firmly, not daring to look at him a second longer. She could already feel her strength quickly draining. "I don't do goodbyes."  
"No brainer then isn't?" He whispered, walking forward hesitantly. "Don't make it a goodbye. Stay." She bowed her head with a sigh, blinking back the tears rapidly threating to spill.  
"I can't." She whispered. "I just can't." He didn't reply to this, just pulled her silently into his arms. She let her head rest against his chest, her mind solely focused on the heat radiating through his thin shirt and onto her. It comforted her, the reminder he was human but at this moment, made her heart break all the more. She had tricked him into loving her and she was about to break both their hearts. The guilt consumed her but she couldn't shake the feeling of comfort and protection she felt in his arms. But that's what Henrik did to her, made her feel loved, made her feel protected from everything bad in the world.  
"You can. The last time I checked, you were Serena Campbell. Since when does Serena Campbell quit?"  
"Since she realised she needed her daughter and her daughter needed her. Mother and consultancy – It doesn't mix."  
"You have to give them the chance." He said, stepping back and placing his hands on her shoulders, his dark eyes boring into hers, begging.

"I'm so sorry, Henrik." She finally lost control and the tears cascaded down her cheeks and Hanssen wiped them away as they shed.  
"You say you love me. Show it. Don't go."  
"That's unfair. Please, I love you, but my daughter-"  
"Has to come first." He finished for her, the sadness flashing through his eyes.  
"Has to come first. I'm so sorry."  
"Don't be." He said shortly. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before moving his mouth closer to her ear, almost touching, so she could feel his warm breath on her skin. "Just don't leave me, Serena, please."  
"It's hard enough as it is, even trying to go. If you keep begging me, my strength will fade and I will stay. But Henrik, I need to be strong and go. My daughter has spent years of her life without her mother," She sighed at Hanssen's look of protest to this statement. "Of course I was there, but not really there for her. I didn't spend time with her, I don't know what she does, I don't know what she wants to be. I don't even know how her bloody day has been half the time. I was too absorbed in work for so long, not even giving her a second thought. So now is my chance to get to know her and be the mum she deserves and I'm going to grab it while I can." She said, trying – and failing – to keep any form of emotion from her voice.  
"But I love you so much." He finally opened his heart, allowing himself to finally feel.  
"And I love you too," She smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "So I need you to do this for me. Let me go."  
"You do realise what you are asking of me is-"  
"I do, but I have a feeling you are strong enough. She needs to come first." They both turned to look through the window of her car. Eleanor was looking remarkably better and was dressed in her own clothes instead of one of those terribly uncomfortable regulated hospital gowns. Oblivious to Serena and Hanssen, she had been watching their exchanges through the rear-view mirror but now they were looking at her, she suddenly became engrossed in her phone, typing madly to send of frantic goodbyes to all her friends while trying to wipe that guilty expression of her face that one only got when they were caught doing something they shouldn't be. Serena looked at him, silently asking for his approval. He nodded before taking her hands in his.  
"Just promise me three things," He begged, his eyes piercing her from behind his steel-rimmed glasses. "Otherwise you can't go." Tempted to laugh at that childish line, she nodded.  
"Go for it."

"Number 1 – this is definitely the right thing for you and Eleanor," Serena glanced at her once again before nodding.  
"I promise."  
"Ok, number 2 – you will never forget how much I love you." **Seriously, come on Henrik, you're breaking my bloody heart **she thought. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
"As long as you promise to never forget how much I love you," She whispered. He nodded with an 'I promise' before carrying on his barrage of promises she had to make.  
"And finally – promise me this isn't goodbye forever." She said nothing, just pressed a soft kiss onto his lips. Realising it was now or never – she had to go before all her courage left her – she reluctantly broke it and turned to the door of her car. Hanssen stepped around her and true to his gentlemanly characteristics, opened the door for her and she climbed in. Eleanor shot her a glance of acknowledgement before turning back to her phone. He had to use all his courage to – when she was safely in the car – close the door after her. The tears welled up but he fought them back, at least for a while longer. He vowed that in these last few moments, he wouldn't let her see him so vulnerable and broken, he would stay strong. Serena clicked her seatbelt in and started the car, reserving out of the space she had spent the best part of her time in Holby driving in and out of. **Never look back. **She drove out of the car park and onto the main road, keeping her eyes fixed firmly on the road ahead, not daring herself to even glance in the rear-view mirror.

Henrik Hanssen had always thought the word 'heartbreak' was an idiotic turn of phrase. How could the heart – the powerful muscle which spends months, years, decades relentlessly working to keep a human alive – 'break'? Break implied brittle, weak, powerless, hardly the most appropriate thing to use to describe the heart now was it? But as he watched Serena drive away, he felt his heart crumble into a millions pieces, he felt part of his world, part of his being, being ripped from him and shredded into tiny strips. This was worse than Sahira, this was worse than Maja. But then that's what happened when he tried to love. There was always an obstacle that couldn't be overpowered. If it wasn't a Greg it was a Rafi, if it wasn't a Rafi, it was a Nils, if it wasn't a Nils, it was that dominating voice in the back of his head telling him if he tried to love he would inevitably hurt them, if it wasn't that dominating voice then of course it was their children. As Serena's car disappeared from sight, he realised he had to pull himself together immediately. She had gone, and he was still Henrik Hanssen, which meant reigning his feelings and emotions and keeping them under control. With one last wipe of his eyes to rid himself of those last few unwanted tears, he straightened his tie and turned on his heel to face the hospital.

Elliot was standing in the middle of the stairwell, gazing out the window in deep thought. He was relishing one of the peaceful moments he got where he could have a few moments break from his everyday life, just watching the world go by.

All of a sudden a black blur shot past him and he looked in surprise to find the black blur was indeed Hanssen.  
"What's his problem?" A sharp voice said. Elliot looked up at the top of the stairs to face Jac.  
"I don't know," he sighed, turning back to the window. Jac went and stood beside him, glancing at him with concern.  
"Are you ok, Elliot?"  
"Yes, thank you," He smiled. "Just watching the world go by." Jac nodded and joined him, watching the paramedics hauling people in and out of the ambulances, the cars belonging to the staff, from consultants to cleaners forever on the move and the most relaxing, just simply watching the trees swaying gently in the breeze.  
"I didn't have you down as a nature girl, Ms Naylor." Elliot stated, turning to face her.  
"Even heartless surgeons who run around with massive egos trying to big themselves up all the time need a break." Jac said in a cheerful enough tone, but Elliot could detect a hint of bitterness.  
"I wouldn't say your completely heartless and as big headed as you say,"  
"Who said I was talking about me?" She asked with a faint smile.  
"And it's seems our giant friend was running like there was no tomorrow for a reason," She added, pointing to where she could see him running over to a familiar figure.  
"What's happening with Serena?" Elliot asked.  
"She's putting boxes into her car," She pointed out. "You don't think she's leaving, do you?"  
"I do," Elliot sighed. "However, our knight in shining armour seems to have other ideas-" He smiled, watching Hanssen pull Serena into a cuddle.**  
**"Clearly they're shagging," Jac grinned, but then her expression changed. Where had she been in this position before, hands on the railing, watching someone drive away? The truth was, ever since that day, she never thought about it unless she had to, like when she given his old pager with his name written down it's bloody side. But Jac would be Jac, the woman who never showed her feelings.  
"Do you think he's going to stop her?" Elliot asked thoughtfully, blissfully unaware of the feelings and emotions that had arisen in the feisty red-head beside him. She shook her head slowly.  
"No, if Serena has her mind set, she doesn't change it."  
"I don't know, do you know what, I think he might stop her." Jac raised a vexed eyebrow and turned to face him.  
"Right, wanna bet?" She challenged.  
"You're on." Elliot accepted the challenge and turned back to the window. They both watched the interactions between the two people in the car park, looking for a sign to prove either of their arguments.  
"She looks like she being swayed," Elliot mumbled more to himself, desperately trying to analyse the body language of the two senior consultants.  
"Damn, swear I was on for a winner." Jac grumbled. "No, wait, she's going. She's bloody going!" Her usual bored drawl containing a hint of excitement. "She's gone." They both stared in silence as they watched Hanssen open the door for Serena and watched her climb in. "Well, then, I guess that's one nil to the Naylor." She said flatly, her smile an inch from being entirely convincing.  
"Serena Campbell has just left." Elliot shook his head in disbelief. "No way. I mean was there a notice or anything?" Jac shook her head, her mind quickly running through an email or something she might have missed.  
"Mrs Beauchamp!" The call drew Jac out of her thoughts as Connie appeared next to them on Elliot's demand.  
"Mr – sorry, professor, keep forgetting – Hope, how can I help?"  
"Was there a message or anything going around to say Serena's leaving?" Connie's expression turned serious and she, like Jac, shook her head.  
"What? Why?" Elliot pointed to the window where everyone just caught sight of Serena's car leave the car park. "She's definitely gone then?"  
"Seems like it, boxes and everything. Must have been a resignation to immediate effect. Why though?" They all pondered over this question even though they knew they could never get a 100% accurate answer unless they asked the woman herself.  
"I was talking to her earlier," Connie suddenly pierced the thoughtful silence. "I said stuff about never letting work take priority over your child. And Eleanor was discharged today…." They all glanced at each other, having just put 2+2 together in perfect unison.  
"So that's why she left!" Elliot finished. "To spend time with her daughter."  
"I assume so," Connie confirmed his thoughts. "So I'll go and run the whole of Darwin while you two stand here stalking fellow colleagues."  
"Much obliged," Elliot grinned while Connie rolled her eyes and set off in the direction of Darwin. Elliot offered his hand to congratulate Jac and his pager went off just after. Shifting his folders quickly to his other arm, he pulled the pager out of his pocket to check it.  
"Show's over, I've got an Aortic Valve Replacement waiting for me in theatre." Jac nodded as Elliot set off in the direction of theatre.  
"Oh Elliot," She called after him. "When you're free, a double espresso will do to congratulate me on my victory, yeah? Very kind of you. Elliot rolled his eyes before pushing open the door to Darwin. Jac sighed, her eyes once again fixed to the window. Well, she definitely knew how Hanssen was feeling. She was slightly surprised with the Hanssen and Serena pairing, but she didn't really care. Ever since their little jaunt to Sweden she hoped he would find someone after putting his mind to rest. He deserved happiness as much as anyone – more, regarding what he had been through – and she felt her heart break with compassion for him as she directly related how she felt on the day _he _left to how Hanssen would be feeling now. It had broken her heart to watch Joseph drive away to start his new life without her, she felt so broken, so torn, so…**So absolutely nothing, girl, so stop thinking about that day. Why take yourself back there, huh? **But try as she might, as she stood at the window looking out, she couldn't stop herself from revisiting the day Joseph left. **Well done, woman, why huh? Why his name. Forget him. Move on. **But she couldn't, and she was surprised when she felt the unexpected dampness on her cheeks from tears she didn't realise had formed…

After a quick trip to the ladies to wash her face and fix her make-up, she decided to go and find Hanssen, knowing how cut up he must be. She started to walk, she didn't know exactly where she was going, just that she needed to find him. After a half an hour's tedious search, she was starting to get impatient. She had covered his office, Darwin, Keller, AAU and left messages with every single member of staff, from fellow consultants to nurses to no avail. Feeling desperate, she suddenly came up with an idea. Maybe he _didn't _want to be seen or found, so he was hiding. And Jac knew the perfect place...

Arriving outside her destination, she felt the raw emotion flood to the top as she allowed herself to think about the place in which she found herself. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door to the theatre room. She immediately noticed Hanssen slumped against the wall, his knees tucked up under his chin. Even in Sweden, she'd never seen him so vulnerable and it scared her slightly, seeing the indestructible Henrik Hanssen, well, just that, destructible.

"Henrik," She sighed. Hanssen jumped when he heard her voice, his face stricken. "Don't worry," She was desperate to convince him he could trust her. "We've both been through it. You don't need to pretend you didn't love her or her departure didn't affect you. There's no need for facades, Henrik, no one's here to judge you. Feelings don't make you weak." She sat down beside him, pulling her knees up to her chin too. "It's what love does, break us. Look, I'm not good at this touchy/feely crap. Or as Frieda used to say 'I'm not good at this 'be reasonable' stuff. I'm good at the 'pull yourself together and a slap in the face' stuff.'" Jac smiled, attempting an impression of Frieda Petrenko's strong, Ukraine accent.

"We've both been through it? Am I right in assuming we are talking about Mr Byrne?" Hanssen croaked, speaking for the first time. He could barely get the words out, his voice letting him down with the emotion surfacing in him.

"Joseph," She corrected him, unsure of why she was going to speak to him, of all people, about Joseph. She could deal with the word Joseph, but she hated the word Byrne. It made all the bad memories come flooding back, Lady Byrne, Charles Byrne, Faye Byrne. Whereas Joseph reminded her solely of the sweet, caring man she'd fallen in love with.

"Joseph," He repeated.  
"So," She sighed, "You and Campbell huh?"  
"I love her, Jac, I love her." He looked at her desperately, hoping for some comfort. But he wasn't stupid, he knew a few words couldn't help heal the pain he was feeling.

"I know. It's been two years since I watched Joseph drive away and it still hurts, worse than the day he actually left sometimes. The pain will never go, it just becomes more bearable," She sighed, her voice breaking with emotion as she tried to fight back the tears threatening to explode from her.

"The acute agony will diminish, to be replaced by a dull ache, which will never go," He said while she nodded in agreement. Although these words were powerful to anyone, she didn't quite know how much they meant to him.

"How did you do it, Jac? How did you just forget him?"  
"I haven't. I will never forget Joseph, I can't. You'll never forget Serena either. You just learn to live with their absence and you move on," She quoted herself from the day of Harry's birth, the tears now cascading down her phenomenal cheekbones. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a ponytail and the raw emotion and pain on her face made her look exactly the same as she did on the day Joseph left. It was at the point Hanssen realised she was right, she'd never truly moved on from him. The memories still haunt her. "You don't know the whole story, of me and Joe, do you?"  
"I've heard facts," he whispered softly. Jac sighed bitterly.

"Everyone's heard _facts. _The main parts are like legends in this place."  
"Tell me," he asked and she did. Not missing out a single fact, Charles, her naked ambition for her career, Faye, the fake pregnancy after Jac and Joe's drunken night... She managed to keep it together until she got to their talk in theatre.  
"We were trapped and ended up saying everything," She glanced around the room they were in, the tears still silently falling, given away by her odd sniff. "It was this theatre actually. We were sitting about here. This room holds so many memories, we finally managed to admit we loved each other. But as he said himself, Id hurt him to many times and he had moved on with Faye." She sniffed, still not bothering to wipe her tears. She carried on explaining, Linden Cullen, Faye's pregnancy, the physiatrist's ward, Harry's birth and finally the day Joseph left.  
"As you know, he found being a single dad as hard as any man or woman before him. Joseph, Sahira-" Hanssen tensed slightly, his jaw clenching. "Even the mighty Mrs Beauchamp all left for family. He asked to join him in Penrith but I turned him down. As I said, my career came first even then."  
I'm sorry," Hanssen whispered. "You went through so much but he still left."

"The point is, I will never stop loving him and you'll never stop loving Serena. The pain and loss lives with you all the time, like a part of you is missing. But you just, I don't know, get on with it." She stayed silent for a while afterwards, unable to believe she had just poured her heart out to the formidable Swede. Saying things that she had spent so long keeping to herself and mulling over, like a private hell. Saying things maybe not even Joseph would have been able to get from her. But he was so vulnerable and she felt the need to help and protect him, regardless of the fact her title was the 'ice queen.' "You just get on with it." She repeated.  
"So, it's like a show?" She nodded.  
"Yep."

"In that case, may I commend you on your brilliant acting." He smiled wanly, hoping to lighten the situation.  
"It's one of my many quirks."  
"So, instead of facing it, you put on a show?"  
"At least I didn't bugger off to Sweden!" She protested, a slight hint of amusement hidden in her voice.

"Touché," He replied, knowing how hypocritical it would be for him to berate her about putting on a show when if he looked in the mirror, he would have a perfect example of a man who closed himself off to the world.  
"Anyway, it's not just me who puts on a show!" She complained, her voice rising involuntary in protest.

"No?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No, take for example Michael Spence. He's not just that cocky, arrogant, sex-addicted, pompous, i-wear-clothes-that-make-me-look-like-a-cheap-pimp-because-i-think-they-make-me-look-cool, stuck-up knob he first appears to be." They both smirked at her harsh but defiantly not unrealistic description of the American Consultant.

"No? Don't tell me, underneath that arrogant exterior lays a compassionate beating heart." He mumbled, still holding a grudge against the American for the plastics-scandal. However, Jac's pointed stare and silence revealed that he wasn't that far off the mark at all.

"When my moth—when Paula came, took a kidney then pissed off to India or wherever, he was there for me. Never too pushy, never too far away. I went after her with the naively-optimistic thought that she still wanted me for me and not just one of my major body parts she would've died without." She sighed bitterly at the still-raw memories. At the memories that still made her want to curl up into a foetus-shaped ball and sob her heart out. "And let's just say had he not come after me, I would have died. He was my rock at the time, maybe even my best friend. Whether it be a tissue to wipe my eyes, a shoulder to cry on or just a pair of ears to listen and not judge, he was there."  
"You were brave, you know, giving that selfish waste of space a kidney. I mean it's not as if it's your money or possessions, she took a part of your body."  
"Yeah, and I ended up on death's door because of it."  
"But why?" He persisted impatiently. "Why did you put yourself through it? Your body was put under an incredible amount of strain." He informed her from a clinical point of view.

"I know. My mother abandoned me when I was 12. Left me with no one, left me to fend for myself. I had no support. I never had the chance to experience that fantasy-ridden thing called a mother-daughter bond, that thing called unconditional love one can only feel between a mother and daughter." She paused, thinking about baby Freya. Her eyes watered at the thought of the innocent and vulnerable baby, her heart breaking every time she even thought of her. "I guess that's why I did it. I thought maybe if I gave her my bloody kidney she might love me and want me."

"But it didn't and never would." He inappropriately and thoughtlessly stated the blindingly obvious fact in confusion. Why would a woman who abandoned their child suddenly love them because of an organ? Jac tensed in irritation.

"Point out the obvious Henrik. I know that know, don't I?" She hissed harshly, her voice acquiring an icy tone. Hanssen bowed his head and cleared his throat, an overwhelming sense of guilt filled him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't…er…I…um-"

"Didn't think?" She guessed, wanting to put an end to his painfully awkward stammer that tried to pass as an apology.

"No, I didn't, sorry." He said, shooting her a nervously apologetic glance.

"Don't worry. Most people think that when I tell them. That I was a naïve idiot." Her eyes involuntary filled with unshed tears.

"I don't," He said firmly, reaching out and placing a comforting hand on her cheek. Smiling gratefully, she leant her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.  
"So, Michael Spence a sensitive angel in disguise. Who else puts on a show?" He asked, hoping to lighten the mood. Her brow creased in deep thought but she kept her eyes closed.

"Malick," She said suddenly, sitting upright.

"Ah, yes, Mr Malick," Hanssen nodded his approval.

"Yeah, he's sensitive as well. I mean what with the whole situation with the death of that woman who he seemed to know really rather well. But he has a façade of perfection. Always so sure of himself." She jumped to her feet. She positioned herself, back straight, head upright, feet slightly apart, chest out. Holding the ends of the stethoscope hanging loosely around her neck, she proceeded to do an almost-perfect impersonation of Malick's strut. After doing a cat-walk like show, she stopped in front of Hanssen, a massive grin painted on her face. He clapped her performance while she curtseyed theatrically in response.

"See! It's so easy and makes you feel so much confident. Up." She commanded. He raised an eyebrow and shot her a look which could only be interpreted as 'If you think I'm going to do that, you've got another thought coming'. But Jac, being Jac, wasn't deterred. "Up," She demanded, now physically pulling him by the hands. When she finally managed to get his protesting body on his feet, she swung her stethoscope around his neck. He held the ends of it with a disgusted look before starting a not bad at all imitation of Malick. Had it not been the buttoned-up, aloof Director of Surgery in front of her, she would have congratulated them on their not bad attempt. But of course, Henrik Hanssen strutting was not something to be witnessed with a straight face and she couldn't the laughter exploding from her. When he heard, he froze immediately before hanging his head dejectedly.

"No," She spluttered, trying – and failing – to win the battle between her and her mouth. "It was great, I'm not laughing at you, just at the situation." He shot her a disbelieving look. "Seriously," She insisted.

"Really?" The shy hope was heart rendering.

"Yes! Ok, try again." As he obeyed her command, she watched carefully, head tilted slightly. "Ok," She stopped him. "Try this," She pushed his head up slightly so he looked more confident, prodded him in the stomach and back to get him to stand up taller and kicked his feet slightly so they were wider apart. "Try again," These changes made a noticeable difference and his improvements were rewarded with a curt 'better'. Jac joined in and soon they were both strutting up and down the theatre room – oblivious to anything else. They both caught each other's eye at the same time and identical smirks crossed their faces before they burst into peals of laughter. Unable to regain control, they ended up collapsing to the floor in a giggling heap.

"Do you regret staying? Do you wish you had gone to Penrith?" He asked tentively when they had finally managed to regain control of their breathing, afraid of saying something to make her flip and close up again.  
"Sometimes. Only sometimes. Look, I hate myself every day for my actions and what I did to him. But deep down, I know even if I could go back and change it, I wouldn't." Hanssen stared at her, surprise etched upon his face. "He would never have had Harry if I did and for that I wouldn't change anything. Harry makes Joseph truly happy."  
"Yes, but in giving Joseph Harry, you jeopardised your own chance of happiness." He couldn't see it, he couldn't see why someone would be blatantly stupid enough to give up their own happiness for someone else. He couldn't see how they could be so blind.

"You don't get it, do you?" She sighed, impatiently trying to get him to understand. "I let Joseph go because I love him. I love him so much I would give up my only chance of happiness for him. Harry makes Joseph much happier than I ever could, for that I'm always grateful. He deserves it more than anyone." Hanssen finally realized, after years of acquaintance, why Jac was so, well... Jac. Love. She'd finally managed to accept love and when she did, it came back with a vengeance hurting her more than words could explain.

That takes some courage," He said, a faint hint of a smile playing on his lips.  
"No. It just takes love. Even then my sole reason for staying was because I was scared of losing my whole identity for a man who would always put me second. I wanted the consultancy post," She admitted, and anyone could have seen how much regret she carried with her.  
"Was it worth it?" He asked, curiosity taking over. He had the chance to dive into Jac Naylor's life and that's a chance not many people would turn down lightly. She thought for a while, but then shook her head. "You much stronger than I could be, letting him go."  
"No, you did the same. With Serena and with Sahira." Hanssen looked stricken again and glanced at her nervously. "Oh, come on. You could see you loved the girl a mile off. But did you act on it?" Hanssen stayed silent, mulling the options over in his head. Deciding there was absolutely no positive gain in lying, he shook his head. "No. Exactly. You let her get on with her life instead of hindering her. And Serena. Her daughter, like Harry, makes her truly happy and so you let her go." Reliving the moments he let the people he loved walk - or more to the point drive - out of his life, Hanssen couldn't stop a few unwanted tears fall.  
"I feel like it's my fault. If I don't try and love, then no one gets hurt."  
"But that's the beauty of life. You need the ups and downs, you need the mountain peaks and the valleys. What's life without hurt and love?" Warm, salty tears ran down his cheeks, the raw hurt and emotion etched deeply into his face. Jac gently placed her hand over his and they both stared at the place where their skin touched. They both watched silently as the tall, enigmatic Director of Surgery's long, elegant fingers folded over the nimble fingers belonging to the feisty red-headed cardiotheracic consultant. They sat there, just holding hands, both deep in their own thoughts. Had anyone walked in at that particular moment, they would have been so shocked to see the two most heartless and distant people in the hospital clinging to each other, for once allowing the walls and facades they had spent years perfecting fall and crumble. The silence wasn't tense or uncomfortable, it was deep and _had_ you walked in, you would most definitely have been able to feel the hurt, comfort and friendship it held at that moment. Their silence said absolutely nothing, but everything at the same time. Those few moments allowed them the chance of peace and comfort they were generally denied in their everyday lives. Jac finally allowed her gaze to drift up into his piercing eyes. His eyes before had reminded of her of dark tunnels, no emotion, no depth what so ever. But as she looked into them now, she saw ever emotion under the sun running through them. She realised how vulnerable, how uncertain of himself he actually was.  
"So," She grinned wickedly. "I've spilt my guts out – your turn."  
"Excuse me?" He asked, a vexed eyebrow raised.  
"You and Campbell," She smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye. Hanssen sighed and started to explain about the events that happened at the conference. Jac interrupted with a harsh laugh.  
"Ha! Haunted – Jesus Christ that's one of the worst excuses I've heard to get a man in your bed." She grinned. Hanssen sighed in annoyance.  
"It wasn't like that, we genuinely thought it was."  
"Ok," Jac pulled her phone out of her pocket and bought up the Google app she had on it. After asking and receiving the name of the hotel she typed it in and searched for any old stories on the matter.  
"Nope….Nope…..Eeeeeeww! There's a porn site with the same name!" She grinned wickedly. "Nope…..no way!...Oh, here we go." She opened up a promising site and her brow furrowed as she read the writing that appeared. "Oooh! Serena was right! Ok listen 'It was said that in the early days of this hotel, a man and woman were visiting on their honeymoon. It was rumoured that the man stabbed his wife three times before jumping from his window and committing suicide…blah, blah blah… Numerous complaints have been made to the staff about TV's turning on in the middle of the night, items like chairs being pushed around the room and the shower turning on full power by its own accord!"  
"It was haunted then?" Hanssen asked, looking surprised if not slightly confused.  
"Yup! Funny, isn't it?" She smiled before leaning her head onto his shoulder. Hanssen smiled at this unexpected but not unwanted pressure on his shoulder. They both sighed at the thought of leaving this peaceful bubble and returning to their usual ways.  
"What do we do now?" He mumbled. Jac gave a heavy sigh before jumping up to her feet in a surprisingly upbeat way.  
"We learn to live with their absence, and we move on," She smiled determinedly, offering a hand to help the tall Swede to his feet.  
"Moving on," He repeated. "Let's do it. Thank you." He whispered, holding his hand out. Jac ignored this awkward gesture and pulled him into a swift but comforting cuddle, resting her head against his chest. She was reminded again that he wasn't simply carved from an ice block when she felt the regular beat of his heart through his thin shirt. There were many layers and depths to Henrik Hanssen and it just took the right person to be able to explore them.  
"Mention this to anyone, and I'll have your head on a platter. Or worse still I'll tell Mrs Beauchamp," She grinned.  
"Deal." She reluctantly pulled away from his comforting arms and headed slowly to the door. Her hand paused hesitantly on the door handle, she was clearly reluctant to leave this comforting and private place and return to their everyday lives. However, knowing it was that or have some jumped-up nurse come to find them, she pulled the door open.  
"After you, Mr Hanssen," He obliged and she followed him out. With a last keep-sake glance over her shoulder, she pulled the door shut behind them. Closing the door on all the bad memories and thoughts, doing what she did best, doing what she was going to help Hanssen do from now on. Moving on.


End file.
